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Johnny_Ibanez
ʎuuɥoſ
Join date: Mar 2009
1,251 IQ
#1
If I was woken up in the middle of the night by burglars, I'd reach for my Ibanez Destroyer.



It's well-weighted to use as a two-handed melee weapon and a club to the head with one of the jagged angles would do some serious damage.

Plus the headstock is pointy so I could charge at them using it as a bayonet and skewer three of them at once.

I've really thought this out.

What guitar would you use?
ichiefG13
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2013
330 IQ
#2
I'd use my morning wood
Whats goes around must come down
Malchius
....
Join date: Jul 2008
113 IQ
#3
Probably my shit Strat copy, it's the heaviest guitar I own.
Joshua Garcia
Joshole
Join date: Jun 2009
5,712 IQ
#4
Whichever is most convenient.
Probably my 7-string.
Cuz it's heavy.

Get it?

Quote by Hal-Sephira
Have anybody went on high lately?
v Smash dat mf
ComradSputnik
UG's enlightened one
Join date: Aug 2007
423 IQ
#7
I'd fight them off with playing smoke on the water till they get sick of it and leave.
H4T3BR33D3R
Resident Gibson Whore
Join date: Nov 2007
2,488 IQ
#8
Probably a telecaster.


Seems like the usual guitar you use to beat somebody.
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my mom and i went to a furry con and on the second day she said she didn't come and pay money to go see dumb shit.


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I incurred the wrath of the Association of White Knights. Specifically the Parent's Basement branch of service.
donender
Get back to work
Join date: Oct 2004
2,047 IQ
#11
Probably my bass. It is fairly heavy and has a fairly pointy headstock, although it isn't in my room at the moment. I have an eskrima baton in my room though, so that would probably be more effective.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
cha33 armstrong
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2012
1,724 IQ
#12
My aussie les paul copy that weighs a stone
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle
Tinboy
Rotard
Join date: Jun 2002
276 IQ
#13
If I absolutely had to use a guitar, it would probably be the first time I'd rue selling my old BC Rich 7 String Warlock.
T00DEEPBLUE
Boba FRETT
Join date: Oct 2010
2,245 IQ
#14
My Epiphone Prophecy. It weighs as much as a bulimic teenager doesn't.
Regarding the furry fandom from the man himself:
Quote by Axelfox
Please understand how little we as a community care
Guodlca
Registered Abuser
Join date: Feb 2010
426 IQ
#16

This, probably. The more spikes and curves a weapon has, more powerful it is, that's a fact.
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
snipelfritz
Senior Fun Correspondent
Join date: May 2006
1,554 IQ
#18
My defense is not having burglars come into my house.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
Skynyrd890
Unregistered User
Join date: Sep 2007
506 IQ
#19
I'd just hide with the string, and wait until they walk by. Then strangle them until they pass out, use the string to tie their hands and feet, call 911, and await police arrival.


Though it's probably easier just to grab the rifle that is hanging next to my guitars....
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
Vypor
FoxHound Elite
Join date: Jun 2008
1,182 IQ
#20
I'd take two of my best guitars and remove the necks. Then, I would cut the necks in half and drill a hole into the top of each one. I would then take a low B string for one of my basses and string it through both holes and tie it together.

This would leave me with something like a guitar-nunchaku prototype that I would use against the attackers/burglars.

Of course, this would take an exorbitant amount of time, and when finished I wouldn't have anything worth taking.
Treble>Epiphone Prophecy EX - MXR micro Amp - MXR Blue Box - MXR Fullbore - MXR Noise Clamp - Vox AD30VT
Bass>Ibanez BTB505 - MXR Blowtorch - MXR D.I. - Peavey MaxBass 700 - Peavey TVX410
Way Cool JR.
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2009
1,504 IQ
#21
My Colt Oficer's ACP 1911 or Kahr MK9 or a Katana. I don't have any guitars in my bedroom, they're all in my man cave.
Jackal58
Pit Daddy
Join date: Mar 2007
2,486 IQ
#22
Remington 870. If I want louder my Les Paul.
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

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I can fap to this. Keep going.
Johnny_Ibanez
ʎuuɥoſ
Join date: Mar 2009
1,251 IQ
#23
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
My Epiphone Prophecy. It weighs as much as a bulimic teenager doesn't.

That's the best simile I've ever read.
willT08
Banned
Join date: Jul 2009
2,923 IQ
#24
Quote by supersac
i have 3 crowbars in my vicinity and a katana
ill be alright

If you're the kind of guy who has a katana you're precisely the kind of guy that wouldn't be alright
DisarmGoliath
Disarms Goliaths
Join date: Dec 2008
1,391 IQ
#25
I have a metal hammer in my wardrobe at the foot of the bed - I'd probably choose that, over a guitar, tbh. Oh, and some deodorant spray as a long range weapon… y'know, to gas them out with a little

I'm not sure how or why somebody would get into the building, and then go upstairs to another floor and purposefully choose our apartment to break into though
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
Guodlca
Registered Abuser
Join date: Feb 2010
426 IQ
#26
Quote by DisarmGoliath
I have a metal hammer in my wardrobe at the foot of the bed - I'd probably choose that, over a guitar, tbh. Oh, and some deodorant spray as a long range weapon…
Your favourite Axe in a suitcase on the left by the bed?
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
DisarmGoliath
Disarms Goliaths
Join date: Dec 2008
1,391 IQ
#27
Quote by Guodlca
Your favourite Axe in a suitcase on the left by the bed?

Not sure if punny joke about deodorant (Axe is called Lynx over here )…


Only guitar I'd even consider hitting somebody with is my Epi LP Classic QT, as my LAG's are far too nice and valuable to risk damaging.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
supersac
Tab Contributor
Join date: Aug 2009
630 IQ
#28
Quote by willT08
If you're the kind of guy who has a katana you're precisely the kind of guy that wouldn't be alright



my freind left it to me when he passed
but in all seriousness i have enough tools lying around me that anyone trying to rob me would probably trip and fall on a hammer or something
Ssargentslayer
Registered Abuser
Join date: Sep 2007
780 IQ
#29
If I broke my guitar in the act of hitting them it would probably cost them more then if they stole anything else. My guitars are the most expensive small item I have in my house.
rockingamer2
Larmarky Remark
Join date: Nov 2006
408 IQ
#30
A guitar is a horrible defense weapon. Unbalanced, awkward to hold and heavy. It's basically a really shitty baseball bat.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
Tempoe
. . . ∆ . . .
Join date: Oct 2008
2,511 IQ
#32
My Jackson has a pointy headstock for facial stabbing
Good_Lord
Rumble on
Join date: May 2010
388 IQ
#36
Preemptive strike in the burglar's home.

With fire.

Seriously, a hammer.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Last edited by Good_Lord at Jan 20, 2014,
WhiteStripesIII
Worst Username.
Join date: Apr 2006
824 IQ
#37
My Mustang would be ideal as she's pretty light and I could get a good swing at the bastard, however I wouldn't want to damage her so I'd probably use my Strat.
Mister A.J.
Ker-Blang-a-Woggle
Join date: May 2011
318 IQ
#38
If somebody broke into my house, I'd rather use a gun. It'd be more efficient when it gets down to it.

Hell of a lot quicker too.
Join the 7 String Legion!

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.


Official Approval
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Mister A.J.
Head of the Department of Redundancy Department
Mister A.J.
Last edited by Mister A.J. at Jan 20, 2014,
macashmack
Maskcashmack
Join date: May 2011
3,359 IQ
#39
Me and my brother made a spear that we keep in our closet. We super glued and duck tapped a butcher knife to a wooden pole. I'd grab that and attack the person. Not going to ruin my guitar over this.