amonamarthmetal
Registered User
Join date: Aug 2008
1,808 IQ
#3
Sounds like the amity affliction.
Gear:
Dean RC7X (Bareknuckle Coldsweat pickups)
Ibanez Rg2570Z (Bareknuckle Juggernaughts)
Schecter KM-6
Schecter Hellraiser Hybrid 7 String
Engl Powerball II
Orange PPC412
Line 6 Pod HD500X
Craziork
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2013
575 IQ
#5
If you start a band with that song, you'll get signed and drown in pussies. Very good, every melodies flow just right.
sha360
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2009
32 IQ
#8
wow awesome track man. This is the way to go. So different and amazing structure! keep it up
b101
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2007
770 IQ
#9
I like the opening riff a lot (2-9) - the chords fit nicely and the Rhodes over the top is a good touch. Honestly, the main thing I would cut from this (already - bar 14) is the slap bass - it's far too high in the mix for what, for me, should be a subtle instrument. I switched it to the regular second time round and it's much better.

Great riff at 23 - really like that. The lead that follows isn't bad, but it feels very empty due to the amount of syncopation - I'd at least have some chords under it to give some meaning to the notes you've got going on the guitar. The other issue is that it's all sixteenth notes; try to add a bit of variety for a more interesting melody. Again, I really like the chordal work with the slight variation - that's a real strong point. The next lead bit is ok, but I feel I'm ready for a change now.

Bar 70 onwards is a highlight. A little different is good here, I kinda wish you'd gone acoustic as well afterwards somewhere for better dynamics. I also REALLY want the drums to have more energy at 92 - the rest of your drumwork is pretty good, but I don't know why you went slow there. Oh wait, there's the dynamic change at 108 - great work and a nice transition back in.

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Overall there are a lot of positives - I really like the main theme; I just feel you need to develop it a bit more and do a bit more with the lead parts, which don't add much for me. The Rhodes stuff is really nice and gives a good ambience over the top. Try a key change somewhere or look at going to an acoustic bridge or something; it just needs some more variety.

If you're going for C4C, the top one in my sig would be great - cheers.