#1
This is a punk love song I'm working on. I usally avoid the subject of love because It's so cliche' but I've been going through some troubles lately so I wrote this piece. Please give me some tips on how to keep this from being to cliche'. peace... Crit 4 Crit.

REGRET*(work in progress)

Verse:
I fake a smile to try and conceal the pain
But my efforts to decieve myself don't make it go away
I've been through this a hundred times before
And this is just one time more

How many mistakes will I make
How much heart ache can I take
After all the regret that I have faked
...end for now any ideas?
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
Last edited by Descendent-182 at Nov 15, 2008,
#2
"How many mistakes will I make
How many hearts will I break
How much heart ache can I take" (I don't like this line and the 2nd line together)
After all the regrets I've faked....?(my idea)