#1
Wrote this just to comfort and reassure.... well you could probably guess who

Crit4crit

Problems come and they go,
they seem to be really pretty,
like the snow
now please smile girl
i dont wanna go
u cant make promises
but if it helps you to know

Ill try to stay as long as i can
not any more plans,
I just wanted you to know

To flip our conversation
are you gonna do the same?
or create a complication
tell me girl,
do you wanna go?
i dont mind your decision
just let me know

The question is do you understand?
I cant make plans,
i just want you to know

Im not trying to let this go south
if you want you can always get out

i just wanted you to let you know
im never gonna go
to let you know
its your decision dear
just please let me know

crit4crit
Call me Sean
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#2
nice dude
i havent felt like that in awhile though lol

thanks for the crit...the problem i always run into with just posting lyrics is that it can be hard to get how that person actually wants to accent the lyrics, actually sing them ya know? but yeah thanks for lookin at mine and nice job here i cant find anythin id change
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#3
I really like it man.
It has a nice, straight to the mount feeling.
Keep it up
#4
The first verse was really good, I liked the rhymeing every other line.

In the first chorus, I think it is, I'm not sure what the line "not any more plans," means.


I liked these lines:
Im not trying to let this go south
if you want you can always get out


Overall, it sounded pretty good.
#5
First of all thanks for the crit I appreciate it. First verse I think we should really expand the "like the snow" line. The syllable count just seems kinda short. "Like angels in the snow", maybe? Also I want to the snow line to connect better to the rest of the stanza. I don't know, maybe mention something about the cold or Christmas in the first verse. Also the second and fourth stnazas kind of have a funky structure to them. It's the way that both "plans" lines are written taht bothers me. Anyways, despite this was a nice sweet piece.I would definitely be comforted by these words.
#6
I guess first and foremost with lyrics is 'Can I hear them being sung?', to which I can honestly answer yes.
The only real issues I have are the snow line - it just seems forced and you don't expand at all , and also, how's a problem 'pretty like the snow'?, and I also dislike certain rhymes ie the use of 'south'.

These lyrics, while not quite 'epic' in terms of what your trying to say, do have a certain charm and sincerity to them, and that's all I look for in a piece.

Honesty and purpose.

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