#1
first of all, this isnt one of those piece of shit narratives that are like "my mom is my hero because she makes my lunch before i go to school" papers. this is a hardcore college narrative. it has to have a plot and a point, theres gotta be tension in it somewhere, and themes and a bunch of other shit

thing is, my life is pretty much... well... nothing. i play guitar and sleep, so i dont really have alot to talk about

so i need help coming up with the most ridiculous (yet plausible) story that i can write about.

preferably an everyday event with an absolutely ridiculous twist

so pit, this is your time to shine, this is the time where you get to make (some of) your retarded jokes and be applauded for it

but remember, its a personal narrative, so dont make anything that would be embarrassing to me or of questionable legality
#3
Just make sure you have a flamethrower in your narrative.
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Portugal. The Man »–
#5
Quote by jetfuel495
now this i can work with. do you have a story to go with that?


no
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Portugal. The Man »–
#6
You were playing guitar. You dropped your pick. You then did a hit of acid to help you deal with the frustration, and hallucinated doing battle with the Pick Gnome Queen to reclaim your lost plectrum.
#7
dude do it on how Arnold Schwartzanegger (sp?) is going on a rampage with one and you have to stop him....Idk im bout half retarded so probably shouldnt listen to me
#9
How about talking about the Hell that is the Pit?
Quote by VoodooChild15
I used to take my penis out and touch stuff with it when no one was looking.


Quote by teensean
THANK YOU!!! i love you Snyde_Platypus!!!


I explained "lulz" =D
#11
Write about waking up and brushing your teeth. But halfway through you notice that something is wrong. You were using the wrong end of the toothbrush.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#13
Quote by jetfuel495
if only acid wasnt illegal

Hm. You could ask the drug thread for a legal household item that can have the same effects.
#14
One day I was walking down the street. I was too busy talking on my cell phone to notice that a giant eighteen wheeler was flying towards me. I hurdled out of the way. I then hung up my phone and continued on my way. I was tired of walking so I hitched a ride with a weird looking stranger. He dropped me off at the gas station where I got a giant grape slurpee. After this I walked to my girlfriends house. I knocked three times on her door to no answer so I climbed through her window. I crawled in to the scene of her and my best friend Nathaniel the lumberjack. This pissed me off so I broke out my flamethrower and charred them both. After this I went home and enjoyed my slurpee with the strange smelly stranger. THE END!
#15
Quote by Flying Couch
Hm. You could ask the drug thread for a legal household item that can have the same effects.

salvia, doesn't last as long
morning glory seeds, just buy them at lowes.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#16
I know! Say he talks about the time he accidently fell into Hell! He describes the horrible overlords, and the blue and orange mascots, and the never ending *fap* *fap* *fap* noises coming from the other rooms, and all the bloody semen. It would be insane! Do this now TS. Instant Win. Make it a book and I will buy over 9000 copies. I swear this to you.
Quote by VoodooChild15
I used to take my penis out and touch stuff with it when no one was looking.


Quote by teensean
THANK YOU!!! i love you Snyde_Platypus!!!


I explained "lulz" =D
#17
Talk about how you can't capitalize words. You also use the word "alot". That seems interesting.
Quote by ESPplayer5150
I loled
#18
Quote by TheMidasTouch
One day I was walking down the street. I was too busy talking on my cell phone to notice that a giant eighteen wheeler was flying towards me. I hurdled out of the way. I then hung up my phone and continued on my way. I was tired of walking so I hitched a ride with a weird looking stranger. He dropped me off at the gas station where I got a giant grape slurpee. After this I walked to my girlfriends house. I knocked three times on her door to no answer so I climbed through her window. I crawled in to the scene of her and my best friend Nathaniel the lumberjack. This pissed me off so I broke out my flamethrower and charred them both. After this I went home and enjoyed my slurpee with the strange smelly stranger. THE END!

Quote by Snyde_Platypus
I know! Say he talks about the time he accidently fell into Hell! He describes the horrible overlords, and the blue and orange mascots, and the never ending *fap* *fap* *fap* noises coming from the other rooms, and all the bloody semen. It would be insane! Do this now TS. Instant Win. Make it a book and I will buy over 9000 copies. I swear this to you.

i love the pit
#19
I learned these things from my friend... just find some triangle compositions and pick one and work off your own ideas from it. I don't know exactly what they're called, but it relates three random ideas in the most creative way possible... usually in under 1,000 words.

One I did with my friend correlated the Golden Gate Bridge, a homicide investigation and rubber bands. So, like, an event, place and a noun. Work off of that, or pick your own.

Cheers!

P.S. I'm a womanfolk! : )
sraeb


Quote by Trefellin
Show me your erection or gtfo... please.
#20
Quote by tugboat
I learned these things from my friend... just find some triangle compositions and pick one and work off your own ideas from it. I don't know exactly what they're called, but it relates three random ideas in the most creative way possible... usually in under 1,000 words.

One I did with my friend correlated the Golden Gate Bridge, a homicide investigation and rubber bands. So, like, an event, place and a noun. Work off of that, or pick your own.

Cheers!

That is a truly genius idea !
#21
I'm grading this very assignment from my students right now. The best ones rely mostly on the underlying theme and don't worry too much about how naturally exciting the events are (it's their job to make the bland exciting). You are already leaning toward taking something normal and making a twist out of it--sounds like you're on the right track to me.

I like tugboat's take on it.

I've also noticed that the more you slyly reveal about youself the better. Stories in which the narrator is obviously flawed, but doesn't explicitly mention it a lot, tend to be pretty good.
#23
Quote by dullsilver_mike
I'm grading this very assignment from my students right now. The best ones rely mostly on the underlying theme and don't worry too much about how naturally exciting the events are (it's their job to make the bland exciting). You are already leaning toward taking something normal and making a twist out of it--sounds like you're on the right track to me.

I like tugboat's take on it.

I've also noticed that the more you slyly reveal about youself the better. Stories in which the narrator is obviously flawed, but doesn't explicitly mention it a lot, tend to be pretty good.

this is precisely what my english professor was telling us. the last bit, however, i havent heard before. thanks
#24
Quote by jetfuel495
if only acid wasnt illegal

Replace Acid with Salvia.
#26
If they think you actually take drugs because of the 'frustration' of dropping your guitar pick, then.. uhh.. yea..
#27
Quote by Dog--
If they think you actually take drugs because of the 'frustration' of dropping your guitar pick, then.. uhh.. yea..


oh shit, yeah i remember now.

wait, why would someone take acid because of frustration of dropping picks?

although an acid trip would be something hella trippy to write about