#1
Hello, all. I haven't posted around here in quite a while, mainly because of school, but I have this song here that a lot of you have probably seen when I posted it over the summer in its infancy...but now I'm finished with it (after letting it sit for 2 months due to lack of ideas), and I'd like some input.

C4C as always, because I really appreciate getting some constructive criticism, and just happy comments about my songs. You can comment on the lyrics too if you wish, but they're pretty rough, so they may change (maybe even with your help ).

Thanks again! --SP

Oh yeah...and I think I wrote this song in two different moods because, well, it's kinda bipolar, haha. You'll see what I mean when you listen to it. But after I slowed it down, I just couldn't bring myself to bringing it back up to speed again. Plus I think, in this case, it gives the song a little more character, a little more emotion.

.ZIP FILE LOCATED IN MY NEXT POST
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Last edited by Skillet_Panhead at Nov 17, 2008,
#2
First of let me say I think thrash is a dead genre that hasn't done anything original in 10 years.

Solo's were decent but I think that there were so many good guitarists in this genre that you will really have to step it up to stand out. I really only enjoyed the clean sections and the solo's therein, but I think this could be because I think all thrash riffs have already been done. The Sixteenth note riff in the bridge was awful, come-on! get more creative than that. I don't know, I want to say I like but I don't think I can, I think if the guitars were tuned to standard this piece would be seen as incredibly un-original.

2 other important things; 1 it ends out of nowhere, I hope this is because it's incomplete and not because you chose to end it this way; 2 change the name, Symphony X have a song of the same name and by my opinion its way better.

C4C : Golgotha Summoning
#3
EVERYONE WHO LOOKS AT THIS THREAD
I made a mistake accedentally when I compressed the files to a .zip, so if you were looking at this song with the GP4 tab, it was actually an earlier version, thus incomplete. I thought I re-exported it to GP4 before I put the files together but it seems I didn't. Completely my fault. A new .zip file will be located at the end of this post with the correct GP4 file.


Now, with that being said, Grem, did you load the GP4 or the GP5 version of the tab? Because the song really does NOT end out of nowhere. In the complete version (GP5/MIDI), I added a slowing transition from the outro chorus to the outro piano. And the piano then fades out from there. So it doesn't just END. Not in my opinion, anyway.

As for the solos...I understand where you're coming from, but please, if you can, take my experience into account here. I know you didn't know, but I've only been playing for about a year, so this is the best I can do in this category, because I'm still learning.

And I see what you're getting at with the 16ths in the bridge. It probably is a good idea to change that, and as soon as I find something fitting, I'll do so. I'd been wanting to change it for a while anyway, but just haven't found something yet. So basically think of that as a placeholder for the time being.

And as for Thrash... I think it's still going pretty good. At least the new Megadeth and Testament cds seem to make me feel that way. Now if you're thinking strictly Metallica...yeah, Death wasn't so great, but Testament and Megadeth (the two I can think of right now) both put out some outstanding albums these past couple years (United Abominations is actually what got me to LIKE Megadeth). But it's all a matter of opinion...and style.

UPDATE AVAILABLE IN LATER POST
Attachments:
Sea of Lies WITH CORRECT FILES.zip
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Last edited by Skillet_Panhead at Nov 19, 2008,
#4
good song. liked most of the riffs and the solos were really good. i liked the clean interlude but im not sure if fitted in with the rest of the song that well, if you know what i mean. just sounded a little bit out of place, maybe needs to be linked in better. some of the solo just after the interlude sounded a bit off as well, but was mostly good. loved the outro piano i agree with the other guy that the bridge wasnt great, but the rest of the riffs were very good.

7.5/10 at the moment, but its got potential to be really good

crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=17080204#post17080204
Quote by duncang
If Varg had any sense of humour, he'd open the album with a cover of Superstition.
#5
haha, thanks a bunch, Corpse

And really, thanks a bunch on the solos. That's a sign I'm improving! yes! I think I finally got the basic solo formula down...which has taken like (at least) 9-10 months, haha. But we all get better with time, am I right?

And by "after the interlude" you mean when the distortion cuts back, correct? Some notes in there sounded a little off to me too, but I couldn't pick off how to fix that. I think the backing riff changed key on me or something, because I used the same scale I used for the other 2 solos in that one. So the only logical explanation is, of course, the key. Heh, but that's fixable. I'll take a look at it and see what I can do there.

And I'm glad you liked the piano. I've never really done anything with a piano, so that was pretty tedious getting it to sound right, but I managed, thankfully.


Oh yeah, and I just want to address the title issue.... I know there's a Symphony X song out there with the same title, and that it's way better than this... but think about it, there's loads of songs out there with similar titles. I couldn't help it, Sea of Lies is just where the lyrics led this song to be.
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#6
First off, great thrash riffs followed by spectacular verses. The lyrics are just brilliant, except for "unplug the drain. let the lies flow." or something like that. Solo is interesting, catchy little things like the 17th fret full bends at bar 94. I really like how solo 2 went to a clean tone but the transition to electric again was a little out of place. The piano at the end was a suprise for me being in this type of song, but it works.
#7
Thanks, candysars.

I wanted to do a transition back to distortion in the clean solo for the end, but I can't figure out for the life of me how to make it sound more fluid than that. Does anyone have any suggestions on this matter? They'd be greatly appreciated.

And the piano, haha, I'm just glad it works. That's why I call this the "bipolar song", because it starts out with those brutal, angry thrash riffs/lyrics, then it slowly chills out to a nice, tranquil piano. And yeah, I don't really like those lyrics, myself, I don't think they worked out well, but I haven't found anything to replace them yet. Thanks again!

UPDATE AVAILABLE IN THE FOLLOWING .ZIP FILE

Okay so (I think) I managed to fix that terrible lead section over the bridge. It's still 16ths and PO's, but it's a lot better in my opinion. I chose 16th PO's over this section for a reason...I wanted to put some sort of uneasy atmostphere over this riff, and that was what I figured would do the trick. And it did, but it was just too simple, so I changed that a little.

I also put a couple drum fills in during the course of the clean section...nothing big, just something to give the drums a little more stuff to do.

I'll also leave the old .zip file up for comparison reasons, if you wish to compare how the bridge was to how it is now. Much appreciated, thanks everyone
Attachments:
Sea of Lies UPDATE.zip
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Testament Practice What You Preach Edition ESP Explorer by me.
What do you think? PM me
Last edited by Skillet_Panhead at Nov 19, 2008,
#8
Not too bad at all just a couple things:
I find the bridge extremely unnecessary. It's not a very memorable riff and it takes away from the overall flow of the song. I also think that, unless your michael akerfeldt, you shouldn't have more than one slow part in a song.
The clean part isn't bad. Master of Puppets sort of feel but, like you said, the transition out is bad. Sorry I don't really have any ideas for you on that one. I'm not sure how it would sound but maybe just build up the e chord with the f# g# f# thing on top like you were doing but gradually gain speed and volume. Just a possibility.
Just one more thing, like in your other song, the harmonies are off. I know you only did it once - bar 96 - but you need to work them out more. Just basic major and minor thirds would sound fine there but you put in all those dissonant notes. If you don't know what I mean by thirds youtube it or something. Find a lesson in how to harmonize leads.
Pretty solid song though some great riffs in there.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...d.php?t=1002979
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#9
hell yeah, this is really cool, perfectly reminds me of metallica. nice work on that. you've also done a great work on the solos.
nice. crit mine plz. against all odds.
#10
sorry for the late response.
critting as listening.

the 1 riff sounds ok, not too bad.
uh, verse.. it's thrash. ;D
the chorus sounds pretty ok, too, but you can add some sort of lead to it, playing in the background in harmony with the chord.
the bridge sounds ok, but the lead guitar is annoying imo.
the pre-solo is speeding up the song. i like it.
the solo's ok, but nothing astonishing.

i love the clean part. <3
and the clean solo is great.
best part untill yet !
you've done a great job with solo 2, too. not only the solo, the rhythm there was cool.
nice use of dissonance.

i'd wished you could make the piano outro a bit longer.. i really loved it. creates atmosphere.

the song wasn't bad at all, but it'd be cool if it was more aggressive, a bigger contrast between the clean, calm part and the fast, distorted, thrash part.
keep up the work, the more songs you write, the better they'll get. ;D

oh, i've put up a new song.
check out 'Jericho' in my sig. :]
#11
Wow! that was JUST like metallica! Adding unnnnneccesssssarrrrrrrry slow parts everywhere for no damn reason....

The riffs were very slow but i liked the Verse Riff and the one before the solo
#12
Thanks for the crits everybody. Good and bad, lol. I'm thinking I'm gonna drop the bridge. It's clearly not as good as I thought it was, haha.

Oh, and I'm sorry the riffs are too slow, lol. That's as fast as I can play without killing myself right now.
--[img]http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/SquallLeonhart8/ESPEX50TestamentPracticeAlbumCustom.jpg[/img]--
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Last edited by Skillet_Panhead at Dec 4, 2008,
#13
clean part reminded me Fade To Black

but except for it, it was awesome!
#14
haha, thanks.

Now.... UPDATE

I got rid of that god-awful bridge, and, by request, extended the outro by a little bit. Lemme know what ya think
Attachments:
Sea of Lies UPDATE #2.zip
--[img]http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd320/SquallLeonhart8/ESPEX50TestamentPracticeAlbumCustom.jpg[/img]--
Testament Practice What You Preach Edition ESP Explorer by me.
What do you think? PM me
#15
I enjoyed this peice alot.

The first solo was some nice badassery I would have to say. The riffs all around were pretty decent although they reminded me of metallica ALOT. The clean section was pure epicness I loved it, the solo went so well with it. But when the solo went into distortion I would totally suggest using another guitar and sustaining the last note of the clean section to make it blend instead of just BAM! The piano was full of win as well I wasn't expecting that, good outro.

If you have time could you Crit Never Again in my sig.