#1
i just made this right now what you think

OR ELSE

OHHH!!
WHEN IM A PREDATOR & YOUR A PREY WHAT DO YOU GET?
YOULL GET REDEMTION AND REGRET!
I WARNED YOU BEFORE!
AND I WONT TAKE YOUR BULL**** ANYMORE!
NOW IM GOING TO MAKE YOU SORE!
DONT PISS ME OFF!!I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!
SO **** OFF!

I told you not to mess with Me
Now youre gonna see
What real Pain IS!
You know you had it coming now theres no returning
You've gone to FAR!

Did YOU THINK I WAS PLAYING?!
WERE YOU LISTENING TO ANYTHING THAT I WAS SAYING!?
BETTER START TO PRAY BECAUSE YOURE GONNA MAKE MY DAY!
BE AFRAID!! BE AFRAID!!
DONT PISS ME OFF!!I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!!
SO **** OFF!

I told you not to mess with Me
Now youre gonna see
What real Pain IS!
You know you had it coming now theres no returning
You've gone to FAR!

DO YOU FEEL SORRY?!
AM I MAKING YOU WORRY!?
DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOUD GET THE BEST OF ME!?
SO NOW I ASK?!!......
ARE YOU READY!!!!!!!!!!!

(SOLO)
I told you not to mess with Me
Now youre gonna see
What real Pain IS!
You know you had it coming now theres no returning
You've gone to FAAAARRR!!!!
Last edited by IndieMetal at Nov 18, 2008,
#3
Not the most artistic piece I've ever read lol. It seemed to repeat ALOT, but it might work with the right delivery. Maybe try a variation on topic during one of the verses, like a bit of a second thought about kicking somebody's butt, but dismiss it quickly. I would just try to make it a little more interesting, it seems monotonous as is.

That's just my opinion, others may totally disagree with me.
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#4
yes playing and i dk i was redundant because alot of singles happen to be like that to i was like might as well