this is the first song ive written so any tips would be very appreciated.

Revolution know my name
I have the answers that you seek
Listen up and I'll profess
To you mass of feeble sheep
The answer lies in dormant slumber
Deep within your mind
Eat my fruit and over come
The Architect and then you'll find

i have yet to write a chorus so thats the work in progress

The holy war is drawing near
Assemble the liturgy
Drink his blood and feast the flesh
Prepare for victory
Storm the city, scorch the earth
Leave no poor soul unslain
Massacre them by the thousands
Smite all in thy name
Last edited by dfc_jebus at Nov 17, 2008,
thank you guys i wasnt sure if it was really that good.

but yes you're right, i need to come up with a good vocal melody!

i forgot about it actually having to be sung

i was a bit estatic having finally written something.

i am although close to coming up with a chorus