#2
Its plain metal most of the time.

Intro-The drum intro is amazing, Its pretty good as far as intros go.

Verse- Its pretty much the intro, but i suggest palm muting the chugs, and bar 24-25 are really good i like em.

Break- I think you should palm mute the notes on the C string for this one, i think It'd sound better, amazing drum fill in the last bar.

Verse 2- (same as verse 1, but bars 42-43 are a nice variation)

Chorus- Bars 44-45 are the "standard metal" bars IMO, nothing metalcore about it, but the rest of the chorus is metalcore, its pretty good, lyrics would fit well.

Interlude- best part of the song for me. I really like the harmonization you got going on.

Bars 76-83 are the heaviest bars in the song, I'm guessing this is the breakdown? Whatever, its good.

Break-Same crit as before, it follows well.

Verse 3- really good flow into the Solo.

Solo-Jesus, the 2nd highlight of this song, i really enjoy the fact the rhythm guitar does something new, instead of repeating the verse or the intro or something. I really really think this solo highlights the lead guitar, but he shines "within" the band itself, really good.

Chorus-Same Crit as before

Outro-Its a good outro, reminds me of a helmet (band) song. Just take the tremolo picking off the ending drum fill, it sounds terrible, i think you were trying to get the high-hat itself to do a fast beat, but the snare and kick are doing it as well, fix that.

Overall? Really good, 8.5/10

Crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1000059
Poop.


Yes, poop.
#3
Hi

I really enjoyed the song. It doesn't try to overdo for the most part, keeps pushing forward with basic riffs (and often it's the 'basic' riffs that kick the most) and doesn't overstay its welcome. Good stuff. In fact, I found no glaring flaws in arrangement or execution for what it tries to achieve (remember kids, if you do less, there's also less to do wrong), so my points would rather concern the 'finetuning' of some elements to really make this thing shine.

First of all, it really reminded me of some good Shadows Fall material, in that it rather takes a more thrashy flavor than aping swedish stylings. I'd like to advise you to use GP's "palm mute" option, not only will it be helpful for reading along but it'll also clean up the sound a bit. You almost exclusively used chords when playing the pedaled rootnote. Now I know the droptuning lends itself to such a thing and indeed it sounds heavier, but to keep this thing more dynamically varied, you could scale down to simple single rootnotes, for example in areas where another instrument (such as the voice) may take the forefront (tip: do so in the verses. Less intensity here will mean that your next subsequent chorus etc. will feel much more intense). I really liked those chords and their harmony you threw in every now and then (ex. bar 16-17). Here I'd let one guitar play the straight powerchords and let the other guitar handle just the melody alone (for example in octave shapes). It'll clean up the sound, is more playable and more interesting for two guitarists. There are some other obvious potential places for harmonization (ex. break, or that little run in bar 47 and others) which'll keep the thing more engaging. Interlude was nice, good idea with the harmonic minor run and its subsequent harmonization in fifths, I always like things like that. However the second part (bar 68 onwards) doesn't really add anything new to that basic idea and thus feels slightly drawn out by now. I'd either drop it (the first part was excellent enough) or spice it up with a fresh interesting rhythm, for example. Bar 76 onwards would sound nicer with a halftime drumpattern (snare on 3). Would feel heavier and be a welcomed variety from the piece that up the whole time used a snarepattern on 2 and 4 almost exclusively (hint: things like that throughout can become quite tiring). The little harmonized run at the end doesn't feel too right either, I'd keep it more in line with the earlier established harmonic minor feel. Concerning the solo, in itself it was nice, not too much pointless shredding, though no really engaging melody either - which could be maybe because the chord progression of the rhythm backing wasn't the most engaging to solo over. Tip: From the chords you used in bar 16-17 and 120-121 you can create an engaging backing that has lots more interesting melodic possibilities. I understand when you don't want to make this thing 'too melodic', for risk of sounding poppy or whatever (for example I'd have nothing against a more melodic chorus thing), but as far as an engaging solo is concerned, more melodic would really suit the feel better. Again, I suggest looking at some good Shadows Fall tabs as a reference point for study on how to do stuff like that. Or you can of course keep the current, less harmonious backing, but to make that work the solo should probably be a bit more wild and dirty (phrygian will do the trick here quite nicely, and some pentatonic licks, like you used the pentatonic at the end yourself). Again, great stuff, keep it up!