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#1
Over the summer, my friend's (We'll call him John) girlfriend broke up with him. This is normal teenage drama, but John is extremely clingy (I'm fine with this).

However, this break up, for some reason, has hit him especially hard, and he's been depressed for a month or two now. This really pains me to see him just go through his days upset over some grimy ***** who wasn't worth it anyway, and me and my other friend (Whom we'll call Chris) have decided it's time to talk to him about it. He's recently turned to weed and alcohol to try to cope with the issue.

So, we're planning an intervention to get him out of the dumps, and I told the girl that she just shouldn't talk to him as much as she used to, so he can get less contact with her.

Pit, what else should I do?

(Also, seeing as how this is more about him than the relationship itself, I don't think it should go into the relationship thread).
#2
Send him a link to the Pit

I'm just kidding, don't do this.


Seriously don't
grok it.

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#5
Just the usual; tell him you're there for him and ask him if there's anything you can do.

There isn't really a whole lot else you can do.
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#8
That sounds like me, except my gf didn't break up with me, her prick of a father moved her to another town, and has blocked off every way to communicate with her...almost anyway, I hear from her maybe every other week if I'm lucky.

I don't understand how people bitch when there was a breakup, my situation's different.
#9
You say you "call" them John and Chris, but really, we know those are their real names.
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#11
Quote by VIRUSDETECTED
Over the summer, my friend's (We'll call him John) girlfriend broke up with him. This is normal teenage drama, but John is extremely clingy (I'm fine with this).

However, this break up, for some reason, has hit him especially hard, and he's been depressed for a month or two now. This really pains me to see him just go through his days upset over some grimy ***** who wasn't worth it anyway, and me and my other friend (Whom we'll call Chris) have decided it's time to talk to him about it. He's recently turned to weed and alcohol to try to cope with the issue.

So, we're planning an intervention to get him out of the dumps, and I told the girl that she just shouldn't talk to him as much as she used to, so he can get less contact with her.

Pit, what else should I do?

(Also, seeing as how this is more about him than the relationship itself, I don't think it should go into the relationship thread).


That's what I did, too, the weed, the booze and the pills. Passing out in random people's front yards gets boring after a while. "Intervene" by taking him to parties and **** so he can meet people, and hopefully hook up with someone. Don't let him know you're "intervening." Don't say "let's get your mind off this, blah blah blah." Or, he can get a job and buy lots of toys. Both of those things helped me. Hell, I bought a guitar. The best thing to do is keep busy. Moping is the worst thing you can do.
You're*
#13
Quote by dubstar92
Send him a link to the Pit

I'm just kidding, don't do this.


Seriously don't

The Pit makes me forget about my problems


Temporarily
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#14
just keep him as busy as you can. i think he has had enough time to think about it, though everyone copes differently...
To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say of what is that it is, and of what is not that it is not, is true.


#15
Last time I checked interventions were had a very high failure risk (according to the show: Intervention )
Just support him as a friend the best you can, and give him things to do. Don't leave him by himself for long periods of time. I have a disorder that constantly throws depression at me, and I find that when I sit around all day doing nothing that it just gets worse, Especially after failing with a girl.
Just make him have fun and discourage the drug use.
#16
Quote by gunther_sucks
Make him a pinata.



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#17
whats the point of calling them John and Chris if they dont appear in the text again? :S
#18
give him a guitar and a bottle of johnny walker and see what comes of it. If he doesn't write beautiful music in any fashion, rehab.
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#19
Make him a pinata but instead of candy some hot girl comes out of it
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#20
a pinata in the shape of his ex-gf and put her face on it then let him beat the hell out if it

yeah that'll be cool
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#21
smoke his weed with him thats what i do with my friends when there down. and they do it for me. having someone to talk to and hang out with is what he needs
#22
Just tell him you're there for him. Be a friend. If he gets worse, talk to his parents about taking him to a doctor.
#23
One of my mates was EXACTLY like that.
We were nice to him about it at first, but it got to a point where it was getting ridiculous and he was just too upset for something that happened a month ago.. so we told him to just pull himself together and stopped giving him any sympathy. It worked, and now he's fine
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#24
Best remedy for an old love is a new love.

Get him to try new things, take him bungee jumping or something.
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#26
smoke pot and snort coke with him.......thats what a real friend would do.
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#27
I agree with the pinata idea. But make it mudkip shaped. Just for the lulz.
#28
Did the Johnny Walker and the guitar work? if it didn't, keep reading.

I was in the exact same spot, still am... kind of. 3 solid years, plus 2 in high school... spanning 7 years and four differant levels of school (jr. high, highschool, community college, university). After so long we both stopped respecting each other and it just stopped working. We loved each other to death, but it just didn't work out. I was devastated, I drank myself to death for two weeks.

3 bottles of rum, 2 pints of rum, 1/2 bottle of Bacardi 151, 2 bottles of canadian whisky, 2 1/2 bottles of bourbon, 2 cases of PBR, 1 12 pack of Old style, 4 6 packs of high end beer, a case of michelob, a case of busch and 3 bottles of that pre mixed margartia stuff... in two weeks... plus keggers and community at frat parties... yeah.

I snapped out when I woke up one morning and the last thing I remembered was making out with a chick on some front porch and then was called up by my friend asking me what was going on. Turned out I hurt some guy's shoulder real bad, they took him to the ER. It snapped me out of it.

It was the support of my friends that really helped me through it. Without Rainie and Amy taking care of me through all that, with my friends in chicago, my co-workers from my old job, the barflies.... I don't know how I would have handled it. I was in a dark, dark, dark spot, where the light didn't seem to show. I literally would break down crying in the most random times and places, I had to leave class once.

He's gotta come out of this on his own, he knows what he's doing to himself. He's self medicated or punishing himself, probably a little bit of both. Getting drunk and high to dull the pain and then keeping it going to the edge to punish himself. You can't force him to stop, but you can help him realize it. An intervention may be a good idea, but I prefer less confrontational methods. I suggest you just sit down with him and have a good heart to heart with him, talk about the girl, talk about what the relationship was. Suggest he read some inspirational materials, seek medical help (anti-depressants can do wonders), let him know you're there and care for him.

Don't force him to do things he doesn't want to do. If he wants to sit inside and listen to ****ty music or watch ****ty movies and smoke pot, hangout with him, and if you're a pot smoker, smoke with him, you can be there to keep him from going too far. If he drinks, drink with him, as a friend, and help him stop when he's had enough. Don't make him feel worse than he already does. He's coping with the greif of a lose and you shouldn't further stimulate his negative esteem by saying things like, "you're a mess, you're an alcoholic, you're a pot head." Just, be his friend. That's it.
Fact: Bears eat beats. Bears beats Battlestar Galactica.
#29
Theres nothing wrong with him smoking weed. Alcohol on the other hand, get him to quit that **** and sit down and smoke with him. I was like that when me and my girl were fighting A LOT and real bad, **** was said that still affects me

But yeah, make him stop drinking and get stoned with him and some other friends
#30
Slap him in the face everytime he mentions this.
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#31
Interventions don't work, people need to work things out themselves, the best you can do is make him feel appreciated; just try to get him to enjoy himself, then deal with the substance abuse.
Your job as his friend is to show him he matters, and that because some one cares, he should act like it, and be confident.
#32
they say the best cure for old love is new love.

Get him out keep him preoccupied, don't let him think about the chick. But ultimately he is gonna need to work things out with himself and no one can help him do that. Anything u can do is just temporary.
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Uh... Sex?
#33
Strip club. It's the only logical solution.

Other than that there's not much you can do. It might be that he likes feeling depressed about her. When I was in the same situation, I just hibernated and didn't want to see anyone. Eventually I started hanging around with a few close friends, and eventually I got over her and now don't see why I ever liked her in the first place. So just try to get him out and about, even if only with a few mates to let him know he isn't abandoned. Then just wait for time to take its course.
#34
Tell him to stop being a bitch, and get over the stupid slut! Remind him that she's not worth it, and if he tries to argue, slap him in the face then drag his ass out to meet women to prove it. I have a friend that's still torn up over a girl he was with over 8 months ago, all he does is sit in his room and play video games all day, every day. I've gotten him to come out with me twice, once was our friend's birthday and the other was a celebration for his promotion. Seriously, tough love is the best kind...tell him to stop being a fairy f@ggot mother Fvcker!
"Ignorance runs rampant through this virus we call life, dead one day, alive the next, never breaking a stride. As I take it all in and realize, nothing we do can stop it, I release the hatred from my eyes, only to feel it within."
#35
Hookers and blackjack. In fact, nevermind the blackjack.
Or D&D, maybe. Obviously, that's better than girls.


OK, I have no ideas.
#36
Dude, NOT D&D. If he gets into D&D and realizes that he can lock himself in a basement with 3 other non-threatening nerds and live in a fantasy world of chance and dragons and dungeons... he'll be lost forever... NEVER turn someone to D&D in their hour of need, you're better off giving him crack.
Fact: Bears eat beats. Bears beats Battlestar Galactica.
#37
The only thing that'll help him forget her is another girl
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#39
Quote by Thomme
Dude, NOT D&D. If he gets into D&D and realizes that he can lock himself in a basement with 3 other non-threatening nerds and live in a fantasy world of chance and dragons and dungeons... he'll be lost forever... NEVER turn someone to D&D in their hour of need, you're better off giving him crack.

I confess, hookers and blackjack probably are better than D&D. Even if you end up with no money and herpes.
#40
Theme to Pinata - Bright Eyes

first thing that came to my mind when you guys discussed about "pinatas"


Well I wish I had a parachute
Cause I'm falling bad for you
I can see the ground approaching now
But I'm not sure what to do
I feel like the pinata
Won't you take a swing at me
If you could just crack the shell open
I think inside you would find something sweet
Well I hear you like a hunter now
Your footsteps in the leaves
And I would gladly leave my hiding place
Yes I'm hoping to be seen
So let your arrow fly and sing
I'm well within your aim
Lay your traps for a thousand miles
And please don't let me escape

Winter came to Omaha
It left us looking like a bride
A million perfect snowflakes now
And no two are alike
So it's hard for me imagining
The flaws in this design
I know debris, it covers everything
And still I am in love with this life
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On second thought, **** tuning forks. You best be carrying around a grand piano that was tuned by an Italian
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