This one of my more condensed pieces. It's quite a bit shorter than any of the others as well. The structure is much more consistent too.
I'm not feeling too strong about the end, so I'm definitely looking for suggestions on how to get better closure of the song.

I do have an earlier version of this song in Stranglish/Creepypasta, and there isn't much of a difference between the 2, aside that this one is completed (obviously).
Last edited by huevos at Nov 19, 2008,
uhuh same problem here, Fixing u must do.

Quote by MetalMessiah665
Dude, I think I would know, Trivium invented Thrash, Metallica are lucky they got as far as they did piggy-backing off of Trivium's signature style.
You still have the same problem.

Try again.

(Bit more info: you have an alternate ending over bar 22. This is what is causing the trouble. Remove the alternate ending from bar 22. Place alternate ending on bar 21, and tick boxes 1, 2 and 3. It will now work.)

Oh, 26/27 have the same problem =)


Really good material here. I'm only going to say the complaint that I had to search to find... Lol.

It feels like it loses its marvelous intensity at 18 but it most definitely comes back at 35.

The opening "riff" that resounds through the whole piece is great. Rarely do I ever play the things I listen to on here, but I could help myself from playing this entire song.

Absolutely no complaints at the end either.

Wow. Where do I begin?
Very brutal/powerful intro with that nice riff coming in throughout, it sounds like the bands I listen to, and this has been done very well. All the way out its pretty insane stuff. I'm still to learn how to make different time sigs fit in as well as this.
I wasn't that keen on the very fast picking stuff, perhaps the midi just doesn't sound great playing that stuff, (sound better no doubt on real instruments). And like you stated the ending could be improved slightly. It is abrupt but maybe just extend the notes on a bit logner before ending on a short note.
The solo was nice, fitted in well with the madness of everything.
The drumwork was pretty awesome too (being a drummer myself), kudos on that.
All in all a very unforgiving, brutal song. Nice! Make it last longer 9/10
holy sh!t (in unreal tournament sexy voice). You were right, i like it.
crazy intensity.

14-17 - love the stereo guitars here.
22 - simple yet elegant segue into the next riff
27 -like how bar 22 came came back to start the solo, which I'm playing right now. poorly.
40 - this riff summons zombies.
the solo at the end is great except for the abrubt stop. you need an outro riff for this as much as my song does, excect this has so much more going for it before the ending.

Maybe just ritardando and and 4 octave sweeps back down to the tonic?

In closing. Br0000000000tal. those are ten zeros. that's really brutal.
first love the subtle lead parts that come in, like at 43 and throughout.

you actually pull off tremelo picking riffs in an engaging way, which is great.

cool drum fills, makes for smooth transitions. good job.

82+ is amazing, my favorite part.

cool outro solo, not the greatest but it's definitely good.

im not sure about the rhythm cutting out every other bar at the end. i think it would end more smoothy if it kept building up then ending on that double powerchord thing, instead of dropping out. the ending was the only thing I didn't like, though. Everything else was just wicked.

It reminds me of an actual song I'd listen to and not just a guitar pro file. so, great job. 8-9/10
Bar 1 - 3 and 9 of the verse I liked but I didn't like bar 5 - 8 but it was alright

Bar 14 - 17 had a sick trade off. Nice work.

Bar 18 - 22 was a amazing part.

Bar 27 - 36 very melodic and gripping. nice pick up with the drums.

The solo just had a great mount of melodicousness and technical ability to it. I really enjoyed hearing it.

You did a great job with this song my friend. kudos to your writing skills.

some parts of it totally reminds me of nile.
i like the style of your soli

the part between 59 - 72 and 98 - 107 were my favourite parts, though the lead could have been done better.
the riffs there just sounded.. classical. it's a bit like modern beethoven.
i was a bit dissapointed as the song has ended. you could try to build up another climax and then end the song with a big bang.
i really enjoyd listening to it. the way you twisted melody and dissonance was amazing.

all in all, it's very interesting.
it's not an outstanding song, but i'd definately listen to it, not just because i want to figure out how the song works.
good, solid and interesting song.
and relentless.
My God, that was awesome, there is so much stuff going on.
Br00talz from start to finish, i loved the intensity of the piece.
Ony bit I really didn't like was the tremelo picking riff. I'm just not a big fan of them generally. I prefer the tremelo picking in the later riff which you switch between the two guitars.

I'm not sure what else to say really, there is so much going on and it's all brillient. Do you have a band at all?
I agree to everyone saying the word "Brutal". It has the brutal aspect, but without loosing it's melody, if that makes sense.
The only thing i have a problem with is the time signature swaps, it baffles my brain and my mind keeps saying "This can't make sense!" but it does work in a weird way.

I really like the lead fills and the ending, kept me interested throughout even though it wasn't my preferred genre.


The improvements that i could suggest would mean altering the actual piece, and i don't want you to do that if this is what you were aiming for. Seeing as though it's YOUR song, i can't really make improvements.
If you know what i mean?
But still, i thought it was epic.
thx for crit'n my song, thought it would never be crited xD. anywho, i looked through some of your songs and decided on this one. its really hard to crit because you don't label anything, which is even more frustration on a song that doesn't really seem to have structure anyway. but i'll give it a shot.

the beginning sounds pretty cool. i really liked the triplet climb at bar 9. 10-13 got a little boring, but i think thats mostly because of my musical preference. Pretty much a generic headbanger riff. the 3x repeat i did not enjoy. after that was a decent enough transition to 30 bpm slower. 18-21 is really weird, the time signatures throw my off and make it hard to head bang too, . 23-26 is even weirder because its almost the same except the 6/8 was turned into a 7/8 which confuses me even more xD 27-36 was good except for 35... nice bit of solo work there, one of my favorite parts so far. youve pretty much got a re-intro on 37-58 but the Back-up rhythm doin some really nice fill/solo things that kept me interested. 59-72 was interesting, i did not like the off-beat cymbal hitting. 69-70 were really cool though, good job. 73-85, another re-intro, but the back-up rhythm 82-85 kept it interesting, but i still don't like the x3 repeat, i personally think that a x2 would be better, but i think that's just my music style coming through. 86-93 got progressively better. i really did not like the first measure of that solo, and the middle of it was kinda, meh, but the last three with the triplets was really cool. 94-97 has more off beat cymbals that i do not like, 98-111 is pretty much my favorite part, (and no, not because it ended) this solo was about 10 times better than the last one, with a rhythm section the complements the solo well. nice ending

all together its a pretty decent song (as far as GP songs go), its definetly not my style of music, but if this were to be recorded with real guitars, i think it might sound like... well i have no idea how it might sound. To be honest with you, I really did not like it, but i really do not like the hardcore metally style music. I can, however, admire your ability to make a seemingly structurally lacking song have structure. It kind of seems like you just randomly pressed numbers to create this, but upon further observation one finds it does have a pattern. good song, i'll give it a 7.5/10, but know that is a relatively high score considering i really don't like the style of music you created.
Hmm, interesting. This is generally rather good, there's good drum dynamics and it works for brutal death metal, I just find it extremely... one dimensional. It's hard for me to really go past that term, I feel like all the riffs are really cool and the structure works for brutal death, unexpected and like a rapid fire of punches to the face in the method of brutal drum blasts, but I feel there's just lacking a lot of variety from an instrument to another.

My favorite part is probably... the last chord in bar 2. The rest also lacks solid transitions throughout, it's like a bunch of riffs thrown together, drums stop, guitar does a line, drums blast, go. It gets tiresome after a while, and really, I just don't get it.

This isn't bad, but I wouldn't really consider it that great. I gotta give you props for the guitar solo though, I thought it was really great, other than that, it's okay.
Well nice work done here, but I didn't like high notes at all, also some of riffs were very random. Nice solo, but second was pretty boring. Overall the song were pretty much the same. 7/10.