#1
o.t.s, c4c. just a goodbye post. as i said a couple of weeks ago, i won't be posting here anymore for a variety of reasons. biggest reason is that i am having to move out of my house soon (i am 18) and i won't have the internet for a long while. i also have ludicrous amounts of work to do and things like that. hopefully i can occasionally come on at an internet cafe or something. anyway. thankyou to everyone who has helped me. particularly dylan, jamie, carmel, kyrl, kyle, dr. otto octavius, steve, zach and chris. my msn and email are on the community thread. i'll make an effort to be on there every now and then thanks and i will never forget you. (goodbye).


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recipient: dearest cousin
subject: stop it immediately

i simply will not stand for your trickery anymore. if i wanted to be tricked i would speak to a man with nothing to lose. you have far too much to lose. you stand to lose a great deal. i know that it was you that murdered my wife.

with all my sympathies,
grandma.

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recipient: n/a
subject: uncle jed's farm

i turned my shirt-tails to the dirt.
i waved goodbye to the gelded gentlemen,
i worked from 7am onwards in the dust and the mud and the stars
i did not account for the fact that i hate my uncle.

the stars were glistening though. that's a highfalutin phrase. the chickens were conducting a funeral service in a noisy haze. several philosophers were emptying manure, sighing to themselves. (something about redemption). a couple of months later i left, with scraggy knees and a stomach full of heroin. my head was ringing and aching and my jeans showed signs of heavy wear. as i passed out of the gate, onetwothreefour birds of a kind i am not immediately familiar with flocked in the summer sky. it was a declaration of extreme patience. it was as if i had just passed my 700 cities to a friend and he had licked them and left them on the kitchen side. i thought that i was in love.

kind regards,
debra dangerous.

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recipient: whoever cares to listen
subject: the world is black

everything has turned rotten and is biting me like a scorpion. i have lost everything. the credit crunch is crunching and the gnome at the end of my garden is getting extremely irritated. i have no time to bake for him anymore. he keeps nipping at me whenever i fly my kite down there. it seems to me that the world is going black. and there is no subtlety to it anymore. extremely sad.

yours, but who is mine?

gary barlow.

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recipient: the daily mail?
subject: the postman/the end

sometimes at night i feel like executing the postman. i know it because i can feel it in my anus,

the end is coming. i can feel it. please heed my call. i am warning you with peace and love.

yours truthfully,
liar liar pants on fire.

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recipient: france
subject: uncle louis' townhouse in the city.

isn't the city beautiful. especially when the light hits it just right. of course, you can't always depend on that light. yes, time has moved on. the union central is pulling out, the orchids are in bloom. the rover that sat abandoned at the end of the street now smells of my aunt's perfume. but there's a strange guidance in the air of tomorrow that draws me to the feet of today. it wasn't there before. but it intrigues me very much.

yours appreciatively,
hordon maxwell.

p.s. i can't tell you how old i am, you'll have to guess.

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recipient: hordon maxwell
subject: RE: uncle louis' townhouse in the city.

isn't the city just revolting and disgusting when everyman refuses to put his litter on the floor. it seems to us so artificial. we just can't overcome it. we often find ourselves wishing that kelly would just wrap herself up and giggle off to some other place. she certainly isn't welcome here. there isn't room for all of her hairspray. all we need is our radiator and a gallon of fresh petrol.

uncle stuart is decidedly nauseous and is fuming red mist from his nipples.

a big farewell from all of us here,
france.

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recipient: the seven lonely captains
subject: your email

yes yes yes, i recieved your email. i placed it on par with something i read regarding hilda filthworthy's new parchment several months ago. it was delightful if not moderately infected (your email, not the parchment). i think i may have caught something (if so, you are liable for all expenses). last tuesday i saw someone who looked just like you. i hastened him over but he didn't come, so i came to the conclusion that it must not have been you. if it was, then i would like to extend to you an invitation never to invite me to your house anymore,

in a while crocodile,
brenda the one eyed pope.

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recipient: nora
subject: there is a moon

just thought i'd let you know that i'd seen it. it's bouncing around up there somewhere. must dash, i don't have forever you know!

love and peace,
the queen of england.

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recipient: readers
subject: thankyou

you have reached this far. but you'll never reach the en
Last edited by skagitup at Mar 2, 2012,
#2

perfect. don't leave. i've had too many people leaving recently. this could touch so many people in so many ways it would probably get banned by the government for openly whoring itself into their braincells. but it's a good thing.




love is a dog from hell.



#4
Recipient: skagitup
Subject: Farewell;

Fair winds and following seas.

Cory
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#5
This was wonderful.

Enjoy yourself.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#6
recipient: readers - Yes
subject: thankyou - You're welcome

Just genius. One of the most intelligent ideas and writing methods I have ever read, period. Everything perfectly encapsulated itself, perfectly fitting into it's own little cubbyhole. Keep writing.

Chou, for now!

Digitally Clean
#7
Favorite.


Maybe we'll talk sometime?

See you around, take it easy, take it for what it is.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#8
Aww, I'm gonna miss you man. Way to go out with a bang. IF you don't come on MSN and say goodbye to me i will hate you forever :'( Oh well, I suppose all good things must come to an end. It has been an honour.

Farewell, Alex