#1
Heey
This Is The First thing Ive Ever Tried Writing In a Poetic/Lyrical Way Sooo..Go EasyyOn Me

A Sumit I've Longed To Reach,
Treading Upon Its Icy Peaks,
Embracing Every Mountain Breeze,
Riding The Clouds Beneath My Feet,
This Is How Life Should Be
And Im Never Coming Down
No, Im Never Coming Down

Wasnt Really Expecting Much Tbh But I'll Try Continue And Edit It.
Anywayss, Any Tips Or Thoughtss ?



VinnyCent
Last edited by Vinnycent at Nov 19, 2008,
#2
Nice imagery, simple yet effective. I think you mispelled 'Treding', however. I believe it should be spelled 'Treading'... other than that, not bad. Try adding another stanza/verse to it and see where it goes.
Lyrics: Time wasted between solos.

After a mindboggling 3-hour Steve Vai concert, I had to listen to some brainless guitar playing... so I put on Nevermind...

Jesus Rocks!
#3
very nice, id like to see it continued.
i like how its all about the mountain/peak, no other bullshit
feels very pure, especially as theres not alot there.

treading instead of treding maybe?


Please Don't Capitalize The First Letter Of Each Word, it gets annoying.
#4
Thanks.
Yeah, ui thought it was a mistake but couldnt work out the real spelling.
And i will work on adding more maybe tonight
Sorry about the caps, has become a habit

VinnyCent