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#1
okay so pit im gonna need som help. Okay so about 2 hours ago my mom left the house and said she would be back in 3 hours. So i did the same thing I always do play guitar as loud as I can and look at porn (im 15 and hormones are everywhere). So there I was looking at porn when my mom walks in my room showing up bout 2 hours early . I didnt know what to do put try and make it look like I wasnt doing anything. But she walked in at my best moments so im staring at her gun in hand( you know what I mean) and she staring at me. Then she turns back and shuts my door. Now im in room and not knowing what to do. I think I will stay in my room forever and some ****.

PLZ PIT GIVE ADVICE
I SAW YOUR MOMMY AND YOUR MOMMYS DEAD
#6
lololololololololololol

prepare for weeks of akward silences.

On the bright side, she will probably feel so embarrassed for you, that you won't get in trouble
#7
I'm laughing so hard right now
Quote by p o e
lmfao man thats so sick and depraved and yet funny all at once

my hats off to you IbanezSA160, you have embodied the Pit into one little poem
#9
theres like five of these threads a day and they still make me laugh

edit: imagine if you pulled a UnionJake and your mom walked in
Quote by nincompoop
potcorn56, you are a god.
#12
Well, go out there, and tell her that was not you, but another person with an abnormally small penis. Its the perfect plan. Or ask her to join, it may break the tension.
I love Foxy Shazam more than you.



▲ ▲

#18
learn alt and f4 short cut
the time i burnt my guitar was like a sacrifice. you sacrifice the things you love, i love my guitar-jimi hendrix
#19
Just play it cool when you leave your room. Act as if it did happen.

It happened to me once, my mom walked in on me in the bath room.

The conversation as I left the bathroom went like this:

MOM: Erm...what were you doing in there?
ME: Jerking off. What's for dinner?
MOM: (laughs) Hamburger Helper.

I have a laid-back Mom.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.


-Jimi Hendrix-

Quote by CodySG
You know you're in the drug thread when you see pictures of squash and "tuna nigga!" when you click the page.
#20
o well. hope ur lifes been good so far!
The Best Floyd Rose Is A Setup Floyd Rose!

Gear:
STARcaster Strat
Dean Tradition Acoustic
03 B.C. Rich NJ Warlock Speedloader
Xaviere XV-599
Epi 1984 Explorer
Crate GTD65
Epi Valve Jr
Bogner Alchemist Head
Marshall 1960B
#21
that happened to my brother...but my parents gave a sermon to him haha
Quote by Vagabond21
Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#23

-3 internets for you my friend
and i thought i was having a bad day!
Quote by stringsquealer
dude you have a razorback explosion?!?!
im so jealous


Quote by Kyle.E
Munky has a reason. A reason to live. *applauds*

#25
To make it less awkward, tell her that she must've wanked quite a few cocks in her youth and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
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#26
Quote by WyldeMan666
lolololol this has made my day, learn to lock the door


yeah seriously
"A musician should not be measured by the skill at which they perform, but the passion, and love for music with which they are playing."
#27
umm...not really....close though....still gice ya +1 that funny
I SAW YOUR MOMMY AND YOUR MOMMYS DEAD
#29
Quote by dudetheman
Just play it cool when you leave your room. Act as if it did happen.

It happened to me once, my mom walked in on me in the bath room.

The conversation as I left the bathroom went like this:

MOM: Erm...what were you doing in there?
ME: Jerking off. What's for dinner?
MOM: (laughs) Hamburger Helper.


I have a laid-back Mom.



that is fucking brilliant i actually burst out laughing when i read that.
well done, dudetheman.
Quote by stringsquealer
dude you have a razorback explosion?!?!
im so jealous


Quote by Kyle.E
Munky has a reason. A reason to live. *applauds*

#30
Quote by ibanez41093
I think I will stay in my room forever and some ****.

Wait wait wait.
You will some shit?
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS
#31
lol.. most awkward moment ever.. i've never been caught.. cos i listen out for that sort of thing when i'm home alone.. I'm so paranoid at being caught.. but u werent doing anything wrong really.. so she can tell u off.. its just gonna be frickin' awkward.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#34


No, this is Busted.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#35
Quote by dudetheman
Just play it cool when you leave your room. Act as if it did happen.

It happened to me once, my mom walked in on me in the bath room.

The conversation as I left the bathroom went like this:

MOM: Erm...what were you doing in there?
ME: Jerking off. What's for dinner?
MOM: (laughs) Hamburger Helper.

I have a laid-back Mom.



LMFAO made my day even more!
#36
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Caught with your junk out. I wouldn't know how to react. Good luck man.
Quote by paranoideyes
introduce her to the back of your hand.
Quote by saphrax
Remember kids.
Backhand = Discipline
Palm hand = Abuse

#37
is your mom hot? if so i'll show her mine and it'll totally take her mind off the fact she saw you "gun in hand" polishing your barrel
#39
Quote by HohnJ723

On the bright side, she will probably feel so embarrassed for you, that you won't get in trouble


Since when do you get in trouble for fapping?

#40
Cmon dude. It's your mom. You'll probably have a very unpleasant chat and that's that

Unless you're Jehovah's Witnesses or something. Then it's blasphemous and you'll go to hell
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