#1
Gutiar intro

Woo
(guitar)
Shes radioactive yeaaa
Shes burning soul alive
Shes tearing down the earth but thats no surprise
She will never, ever die
Cuz she is so alive

'cuz she is radio active
shes burning my soul alive wooo
shes radioactive
and you know she wont ever die nono yea

Thats about all its not that good but it is supposed to be like a glam/hair metal song. So give me your opinons.Thanks!
#2
pretty good. a new take on describing a woman. I think its got great potential for a metal song but there needs to be more substance to work with, more verses, etc.
#3
Quote by aceofclubs52
pretty good. a new take on describing a woman. I think its got great potential for a metal song but there needs to be more substance to work with, more verses, etc.

Thanks i'll add some more after some more guitar parts but thanks for the criticism.
#4
"Shes burning soul alive" doesn't make sense grammatically.
Neither does "shes burning my soul alive", as your soul isn't "alive", it is an intangible creation.

That's my only criticism for this piece (well, that and the terrible grammar)

I'd also recommend a line break between "Earth" and "but" L3.
#5
Quote by ginjaninja
"Shes burning soul alive" doesn't make sense grammatically.
Neither does "shes burning my soul alive", as your soul isn't "alive", it is an intangible creation.

That's my only criticism for this piece (well, that and the terrible grammar)

I'd also recommend a line break between "Earth" and "but" L3.


I know my teachers say that i have terrible grammer too lol. Thanks