#1
After my first song, I got some knowledge about song structures, so here i go with another song for my darling


*Verse 1*
Trying to sleep at night
Thinking of you, holding you tight
Deep inside I know I'm never good enough
Why does love have to be so damn tough?

*Chorus*
I guess it's worth a little wait
Us together, will be never late
Me and you, for the rest of the day
We need to(will) make our own way

*Verse 2*
I just want to hold you tight
Calm down babe, I don't deserve the bites
I guess I need to improve
I'll just need to get along your groove

*Chorus*
I guess it's worth a little wait
Us together, will be never late
Me and you, for the rest of the day
We need to(will) make our own way

*Verse 3*
Babe, let's live a happy life
Put down the knife, be a nice wife
Put away the fears
Let me catch your tears
Let me stand near
Let me feel your chear, and
Let me make this clear,
I love you dear.
smile
Last edited by Nomak1 at Nov 21, 2008,
#3
omfg =)))

people told me to follow a structure like AABB or AABBCC

so i did =))) it might sound clumsy on paper but when singing properly with rests, it's cool.
smile
#4
It's cheesy, cliche, and the often forced rhymes do nothing to take away from that.

You say it works when you sing it, so maybe post a recording of it?
Because I'd like to see how you would make that sound, well, good.

Least favourite part:
Let me catch your tears
Let me stand near
Let me feel your chear, and
Let me make this clear,
I love you dear.

Five rhymes in a row! Chear isn't even a word! (At least, that's what my in-browser dictionary tells me.)
#5
Quote by ginjaninja
It's cheesy, cliche, and the often forced rhymes do nothing to take away from that.

You say it works when you sing it, so maybe post a recording of it?
Because I'd like to see how you would make that sound, well, good.

Least favourite part:
Let me catch your tears
Let me stand near
Let me feel your chear, and
Let me make this clear,
I love you dear.

Five rhymes in a row! Chear isn't even a word! (At least, that's what my in-browser dictionary tells me.)

it's a typo... it's cheer =))
smile