#1
well I am taking my time, trying to find

What I am looking for

As I am calling in the wind, calling for

A win


I am dialing the phone, I am so alone

In my home

I am looking out the door, looking for

A score


Well you are taking your time, trying to find

What you are looking for

As you are calling in the wind, calling for

A win


You are dialing the phone, you are so alone

In your home

You are looking out the door, looking for

A score


We are sitting together, on the plane

Ingoring one another

You are looking in the clouds, singing aloud

I'll be true, to you

Yea, I'll be true, too
______________________________________
______________________________________

I'm not that great at writing but I think I did an alright job, opinions please. It's an all acoustic song.
#2
You have a good plot, I just think that the wording needs a little work.

There are some things in here I don't understand:


"As I am/you are calling in the wind, calling for A win"

This is said from both the guys and girls perspective which is fine, but what is he/she trying to win? This is a little confusing. Tell us more!


"I am/you are looking out the door, looking for a score"

The song sounds sad, and then all of a sudden it sounds like he is trying to nail some other chick and she wants to get hammered by some other guy. The word "score" is kind of blunt and will more then likely be misinterpreted (the way that I interpreted it). I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but I think another word could be used maybe . And if I did interpret it right, then this goes completely against your last two lines.
#3
Sorry for being too blunt if you thought I was, but I think that this could be a good song if you give it a little work!
#4
Read the FAQs then repost this with the problems corrected.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching