Yeah, I know, random title (which is why half of my songs end in -ium, I lack creativity for names )

Anyways, I started the acoustic part some days ago (capo on 1st fret, but you don't need it that much), and then I tried finishing the song even with vocals.

Well, the vocals can be better (I am not very good at making vocal melodies), and I guess the variations I threw around (so it didn't get too repetitive) could be done better too, or the singer can decide them in the moment or whatever (the vocals are a rough approx of what I want them to be)...

Well, I spent all of today with the solo, and I am happy with it, but I think I could improve the phrasing a little more (and also improve the backing track, but I also suck with drums and strucked chords)...

It is in a similar fashion to other melodic songs I post, so don't expect it to be long or anything (very short, intro-verse-chorus-verse-chorus-verse-solo and that's it).

By Torghatten.zip
Last edited by gonzaw at Nov 24, 2008,
I'm typing this as my udon noodles are getting cold so excuse the short nature of this post.

Great piece and very catchy. I actually think the verse is more infectious than the chorus, which probably shouldn't be the case?

About your lead playing... I think you need to try to take a more conservative touch towards the bar 9-19 "fill guitar" playing, specifically at the bend at 13. I wanted so badly for that bend to be as huge and emotional/powerful as it has potential to be. The same sort of desire resounds through your solo, though it is very good.

I'm nit-picking here!

Very good work. 8.5/10.
Well, overall, great song.

I really dont like the staccato playing the the fill guitar in the into, it just seems like that part should be a really legato emotional lead part. You might want to try to extend some of the notes by adding hammer-ons, pull-offs, and slides. The vocals seem to be pretty repetitive in that they dont change much between the chorus and verses, but your vocal melodies are really good. I really loved the solo, this is definitely the best part of the song.
Carvin Bolt-T -> Line 6 DL-4 -> Danelectro Fish and Chips -> Homemade Fuzz -> Epiphone Valve Junior Combo -> Amplitube and Guitar Rig.
Thanks for the advice with the intro lead...
I am improving it now (although I don't know how to make that bend "powerful" though )

Yeah, I get what you mean by the vocals, I may change them a little bit (at least the verse ones though, making them less "infectious" )

EDIT:Added the edited file...
Last edited by gonzaw at Nov 22, 2008,

Although I don't know what to do with the vocals
OR how to improve the 4th bar of the solo without changing the backing chords..

EDIT:I editted the solo and bass a little bit, but I don't know if it is what I want, but fells better than the other part, or at least closer to what I want it to sound...
Last edited by gonzaw at Nov 24, 2008,
Awesome song. I like the fill guitar around 12, sounds great. The build up to the chorus is nice and then comes the chorus which is even better, you've got some nice harmonies down there. The solo was nice too, but could be better. I don't have much to crit really, maybe just the vocals which I muted because i couldn't hear the music. Great job.
Well, you have to have some kind of vocals if not it would be repetitive as hell
Also, that's what the fill is for, to back up for the vocals, the fill alone would be kind of boring I guess..

How could I improve the solo? Is it phrasing, or maybe bad timed bends, or maybe it doesn't blend well with the backing track?
Technically there's nothing wrong with it. But i feel like it doesn't fulfill it's role as the climax of the song. I really don't know, I am listening to it right now for the second time an it doesn't sound as poor as i thought it was. So hmm yeah... just ignore my comment.