#1
Here is a song that was written (mostly) by the other guitarist in my band with some contributions from me. Comment on the riffs, structure, solo (that was one of my contributions), etc...

We are still working on this one (we plan on improving the verse), but this is the complete idea

Ben (other guitarist): "This song isn't just metalcore. IT is also like some of the upbeat metal you would hear, sorta like Bullet for My Valentine. We don't have lyrics yet, but the vocal melody will probably have screaming as well as melodic singing."
Attachments:
metalcore-ish.zip
Last edited by Echoplex at Nov 22, 2008,
#2
Nothing really wrong with it, I found 17-21 a bit boring though, I think maybe a few drum fills in that section could fix that though, and I assume if you were to record this it would have vocals over it, so that shouldn't be too difficult to fix. Good stuff, liking the riff at bar 26.

EDIT: When you're free could you take a look at the one in my sig?
DOUBLE EDIT: Holy crap, I'm a retard, I've had the wrong link in my sig this whole time, it's been fixed now.
Last edited by SOADisdabest at Nov 28, 2008,
#3
Thanks for the crit.

Nice melodic intro, loved that. The next riff was good. The verse was a bit boring IMO, I'm sure it'd be ok with vocals but maybe it could be a little more interesting I really liked the part from bar 26, that was awesome. All good from there really, except the breakdown is a little too repetitive. I liked the riff at bar 62 though. Solo was great, but the backing breakdown guitar part got very annoying tbh. from bar 78 the riffs were excellent, and there are lots of really nice riffs in this song. 7/10.
Gear:
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker
#4
NB: I listened to the MIDI file.

First off, this could be a pretty good song complete with vocals and such. I've got all sorts of melodies floating around in my head after listening to that, so well done there matey! One thing that does bug be about this song however is the drums. At the moment there's not really enough bass pedal for me to think of this as proper metalcore, don't get me wrong, its some kind of -core thats for sure. I think you could sort out a lot of short comings in this piece by metalling up the drumming a bunch. BFMV do it even in their softer songs, or at least from what I remember when I listened to their debut album.

No major issues with the solo, it was nice, although sliiiightly generic, but then again it serves its purpose in the music. What I'm not a fan of is that break down, its just ... too bleh for my liking, and the way the solo sits all isolated in the middle of the genericness makes it seem slightly less enthralling. Maybe thats just a personal niggle of mine, I always like my solo's to feel like they're going somewhere, you know, like, that they build to a climax and break out into a new, powerful, upbeat section. In this case its a great solo, but it kind of just falls away at the end, you get me?

Although I picked up on a couple of things I would change about this, I don't want you to think I hate it or anything lol Its nice, really!

So yeah, just make the breakdown more interesting so the solo is more powerful and perhaps you could cut out those bars after it and have it move into the ... I think it was the chorus you had after it, but I could have been mistaken, either way I think that would certainly push this song over into the awesome catagory.

Would you mind?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1014290
#5
some riffs are really cool, some others just make it dull, this would work excellent with vocals in it

also, the drums, the changes are cool, but it's too simple, it need more fills and double bass drum,

i really enjoy the part around 1:40