#1
Another set of lyrics that I wrote recently. Pretty rough still, but I'm working on them .

Prophet of Destruction

The end of days is here
brought about by human folly
lies and deceit bring false hope
as the travesty that is mankind
sinks into the abyss

Chorus:Prophet of destruction
messenger of the gods
sent to Earth to spread the word
the apocalypse is now!

The abscess grows
leeching life from the very Earth
destruction for our gain
will bring about the end
of days!

Chorus

Death and decay rule
as tyrants rise
the enslaved struggle
against the chains of oppression
all to no avail

Chorus

I don't know if I'm gonna add another verse or not. I probably will, once i write it.
#2
Well it's nothing that hasn't been done before so it doesn't particularly stand out. It's rather short and I think the extra verse could definately benefit. All the verses and the chorus don't have much to get into before it's over.

Structurally the verse and chorus seem to be at odds completely. Unless you're planning to put a lot of focus into the music between the two that fifth line is really causing havoc for me.

It seems to me like it's meant to be fast paced and hard hitting due to the simplistic verse-chorus-verse-chorus structure, but the content doesn't seem to live up to it. I'd like to see how you'd do that other verse and maybe see if you can expand it a little.
#3
I think it's pretty good. Then again, I'm kinda biased(My favorite genre is Thrash Metal)
But overall, I think you should definetly add the third verse. It would help the song overall.
#4
To me it feels like there isn't really any flow in the words.

Even for a thrash song, the verses don't line up,
it seems like the music just wouldn't match every line.

I don't think tacking another verse on will help much, I think alot of structural work needs to be done before this makes sense.
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#5
SNEYOB you failed. This is perfect for trash, sure there's a few patchy places... It's thrash it's about emotion not just ****ing lyrics.
a little lost.....
#6
Thanks for the feedback, everybody. I appreciate the positive and negative stuff. This is still in an early planning stage, and I'm definitely going to rework it. Thanks for the help.