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#1
i'm going to a strip club for the first time. any strip club etiquette i should know? like if i'm getting a lap dance do i try to hide the obvious boner i'm gonna get? do i masturbate in the bathrooms or what?
#2
Quote by skaterskagg1
i'm going to a strip club for the first time. any strip club etiquette i should know? like if i'm getting a lap dance do i try to hide the obvious boner i'm gonna get? do i masturbate in the bathrooms or what?


rule #1 you can look all you want but you can't touch. that costs extra.
rule #2 there is no sex in the champagne room.
rule #3 bring lots and lots of $1 bills

and WTF, DO NOT MASTURBATE IN THE BATHROOM!
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#3
Quote by skaterskagg1
i'm going to a strip club for the first time. any strip club etiquette i should know? like if i'm getting a lap dance do i try to hide the obvious boner i'm gonna get? do i masturbate in the bathrooms or what?


...

Yes.

That's exactly what you do.

Masturbate.

In the bathroom.

That is what you do.
You're*
#4
Quote by Survivalism
...

Yes.

That's exactly what you do.

Masturbate.

In the bathroom.

That is what you do.






I want to know where this idea came up.
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#8
Actually, you can just whip it out and beat it like it owes you money right there during the lap dance. The strippers don't mind.
You're*
#9
The first thing you are going to want to do is grab the strippers at your first oppourtunity... oh and dont forget that if they rub up on you that means they want you to have sex with them.
#10
my buddie actually has masturbated in the bathroom. at least he told me he has. i don't know why you'd make something like that up though.
#11
Quote by skaterskagg1
my buddie actually has masturbated in the bathroom. at least he told me he has. i don't know why you'd make something like that up though.


your buddy is a tool.
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#12
Quote by skaterskagg1
my buddie actually has masturbated in the bathroom. at least he told me he has. i don't know why you'd make something like that up though.

Is this one of those stories when you say your "buddy", but actually mean you?
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#13
I've been meaning to go for my birthday, but all I know is that I don't wanna bust in my pants and blue balling it is not a ****ing option, padre. Slip a condom on or something and bust in that...
#14
Quote by solid_moose
Is this one of those stories when you say your "buddy", but actually mean you?


Nah, but it's one of those stories where when he says "buddy" be actually means a certain someone...
#16
Quote by skaterskagg1
if she's grinding on me or something what if she feels my boner?


Then she knows she's doing a good job.
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#17
Quote by skaterskagg1
if she's grinding on me or something what if she feels my boner?

Dude, that means she wants to have sex with you, don't be a little pre-teen about it
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#18
Quote by skaterskagg1
my buddie actually has masturbated in the bathroom. at least he told me he has. i don't know why you'd make something like that up though.

sure he says that but he's probs just trying to impress you
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#19
Quote by skaterskagg1
if she's grinding on me or something what if she feels my boner?




Hiding your boner? Are you 12?
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I love you
#20
Quote by skaterskagg1
i'm going to a strip club for the first time. any strip club etiquette i should know? like if i'm getting a lap dance do i try to hide the obvious boner i'm gonna get? do i masturbate in the bathrooms or what?


do all of that and more
#21
I'm sure all the lonely bald businessmen will help you out.
"There are millions of people in the world, and none of those people are an extra. They're all leads in their own stories."
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#22
1. Don't touch.
2. They don't like you, they're doing it for the cash.
3. Don't touch.
4. No, for the love of God don't masturbate in the bathrooms.
5. Don't for any reason do anything stupid. Sit down, be quiet, enjoy the dancing, have a beer, but don't cause any trouble.
#24
Quote by blynd_snyper
1. Don't touch.
2. They don't like you, they're doing it for the cash.
3. Don't touch.
4. No, for the love of God don't masturbate in the bathrooms.
5. Don't for any reason do anything stupid. Sit down, be quiet, enjoy the dancing, have a beer, but don't cause any trouble.


This.
Quote by SlinkyBlue
I remember when I was really young, I had a wet dream in which i was being dragged along an urban countryside by a pickup truck.

Don't ask me I have no idea how the hell it happened.




To Me:

Quote by Son.Of.TheViper

I love you
#25
I don't understand the point of strip clubs. It's the biggest source of blue balls in all of mankind.
Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while myself, I say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey Earth as that prince of foods:



the muffin!
#26
Strip clubs are awesome places to go and watch middle aged married men ogle 19-25 year old college/uni girls in vain attempts to take their mind off their fat, bearded wife, who was once beautiful, but then had kids.

I can honestly say I've never been to a strip club to see the girls, but to sit with my friends and silently express our disgust towards the aforementioned men.

I don't get how anyone could get turned on in a place as seedy and aids ridden as a strip club.
This water's dark and coldGod's not where you hopedThis moment come and goneIt's time we all moved on
#27
No need for fapping in the bathroom sonny boy. When that young hot Puerto Rican girl shakes that nice plump round ass in your face, that's your queue to stick it in her pooper.
#28
Quote by blynd_snyper
1. Don't touch.
2. They don't like you, they're doing it for the cash.
3. Don't touch.
4. No, for the love of God don't masturbate in the bathrooms.
5. Don't for any reason do anything stupid. Sit down, be quiet, enjoy the dancing, have a beer, but don't cause any trouble.


^^exactly

Just lean back and enjoy.
#29
Do not make sound during the song.
When the song is over, applaud politely.
Formalwear is required.
During the intermission, I recommend the purchase of a programme and Foxley's Beginners Guide To Opera, available from all good retail outlets. The song may be in another language, e.g Italian. It is highly recommended you learn this language to appreciate the true beauty of the music.
#30
How many more threats about erections will be posted today.

More importantly;
Why do I come into all the threads about erections.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#31
You can rape the strippers upon request.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#32
I know a lot of guys in the Pit don't have girlfriends, but Jesus, you're really screwed if you need advice on LOOKING at pussy....
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This man deserves my +1

+1

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#33
Quote by skaterskagg1
i'm going to a strip club for the first time. any strip club etiquette i should know? like if i'm getting a lap dance do i try to hide the obvious boner i'm gonna get? do i masturbate in the bathrooms or what?


Strip clubs.

Make no sense. I mean they do, but they don't.


Wait..
#34
Quote by Jackolas
Strip clubs.

Make no sense. I mean they do, but they don't.


Wait..

wat
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#35
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']wat

Read my post again. You go to a strip club to stare at "gorgeous" women and get turned on but you are not actually supposed to get turned on or look turned on?
#36
Quote by Shredder XXX
Strip clubs are awesome places to go and watch middle aged married men ogle 19-25 year old college/uni girls in vain attempts to take their mind off their fat, bearded wife, who was once beautiful, but then had kids.

I can honestly say I've never been to a strip club to see the girls, but to sit with my friends and silently express our disgust towards the aforementioned men.

I don't get how anyone could get turned on in a place as seedy and aids ridden as a strip club.



wait wait wait wait wait....WAIT!

you go to strip clubs with other dudes to look at the men watching?!?!
Quote by MooshMooshMarc
i have to admit, I laughed a little

at long f*cking last... a decent compliment



I POSTED THE PEAR ALL I GOT WAS A LOUSY WARNING
#37
Quote by Jackolas
Read my post again. You go to a strip club to stare at "gorgeous" women and get turned on but you are not actually supposed to get turned on or look turned on?



...


You got a point thar, my good man.
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#38
Quote by themightymitch
wait wait wait wait wait....WAIT!

you go to strip clubs with other dudes to look at the men watching?!?!


This thread just gets better and better.
#39
Quote by sebastian_96
I don't understand the point of strip clubs. It's the biggest source of blue balls in all of mankind.


+1 It's a lot of ****ing money just to get a boner
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#40
Quote by Beakwithteeth
Duh! Don't be a fool. Where else would you masturbate? In the middle of the strip club?

yes
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