#1
A song I wrote for the rebirth of the band.
www.myspace.com/themondayprogram

Kepp pushing, pushing me away
How much pressure do you think that I can take?
And I'll, I'll keep my head above the waves
But i'm drifting farther out with every second that you stay

You think that you have won
But I have just begun
And I've been here before
Everything you thought you lost
Has become mine because
I've been you before

Keep bending, bending till I break
Is this song everything you thought that I would say?
And you said my skin was paper thin
So I cut it off and turned it in
To the living proof the world can live without you.

Without
You think that you have won
But I have just begun
And I've been here before
Everything you thought you lost
Has become mine because
I've been you before


Crit For Crit.
Thanks For Reading
//MisterChainsaw//
#2
i like the content. its really cool. i really like the verses but it doesnt really seem all that deep. but i dont think it necessarily needs to.
for the chorus...how the first two lines rhyme and none of the others have any pattern, i think you should either continue that rhyme scheme or just ditch it. having it partially rhyme makes it a little confusing, at least in my opinion.
also, i checked out your band and i must say i really liked it. im a big fan of the voice. kudos for that. keep it up

thanks for the crit
Guitars:
Martin DSR acoustic
Fender Telecaster
Epiphone Les Paul
Amp:
Fender Hot Rod Deluxe
Pedals:
535Q Crybaby>Fulltone OCD>Phase 90>EHX Big Muff>MXR Carbon Copy>EHX Holy Grail
You can call me Matt