#1
Stuck in a room of mirrors
im forced to look at myself again
look at those cracks,look at those blemishes

I ask who i am
who i wanna be
cause this reflection is something i hate

i asked him why
did you let this be, a greater part of me

cause you're not moving on

cause its too late
i cant change
who i am

are you willing to
give yourself
another chance to
make things right again

cause i will give up,
if only i am forgiving,
forgiven for my mistakes

Crumbling when i hear
what i think of me

Please dont judge me
from what you see
that's because there's more to me than me

cause its too late
i cant change
who i am

are you willing to
give yourself
another chance to
make things right again

cause i will give up,
if only i am forgiving,
forgiven for my mistakes

Stop drop roll
Feel yourself on fire
feel it burning in
x2
Blood shot cold
I cant feel the flame
i cant explain


It's my like 15th recorded song which i think is of some substance.
C4C?

Thanks. (i got inspiration from a poetrybook )
#2
Stuck in a room of mirrors
im forced to look at myself again
look at those cracks,look at those blemishes
My only complaint here is about the way you typed this up. Simply, I think it'd read slightly better if it was typed better. I don't have a single problem with the content here though, very nice writing thus far.

I ask who i am
who i wanna be
cause this reflection is something i hate
Alright. This flows well. No complaints.


i asked him why
did you let this be, a greater part of me

cause you're not moving on

Alright, what exactly does "a greater part of me" mean? The ideas in the first two stanzas were tied together neatly but here you start jumping around. There's nothing tying "him" and why he let this be, to whatever the greater part of you is, to why he's not moving on (from what)? I assume you're talking to your reflection here, but I think it could be a little clearer -- and like I said, I'm not sure what "a greater part of me" is trying to refer to.

cause its too late
i cant change
who i am

No problems here. Maybe remove "cause". Works slightly better without it, I'd think, especially considering the "cause" in the line before it.

are you willing to
give yourself
another chance to
make things right again

Cool idea. I don't like the line breaks here though, I think it reads better as:

Are you willing to give yourself
another chance to make things right again?


cause i will give up,
if only i am forgiving,
forgiven for my mistakes

Eh. I don't like "forgiving" and "forgiven" here. What will you give up? Why would being forgiven make you give up? Being forgiven (or forgiving) generally conveys a positive thought, while "giving up" is generally a negative, and the combination of the two here didn't work all that well.

Crumbling when i hear
what i think of me

Cool line.

Please dont judge me
from what you see
that's because there's more to me than me

Another cool line. Slightly wordy though. You don't need "that" in the last line. I think maybe it works better as "Please don't judge / based on what you see / because there's more to me than me". Definitely liked this part though.

cause its too late
i cant change
who i am

are you willing to
give yourself
another chance to
make things right again

cause i will give up,
if only i am forgiving,
forgiven for my mistakes

What I said about these lines before applies here as well.

Stop drop roll
Feel yourself on fire
feel it burning in

Blood shot cold
I cant feel the flame
i cant explain

The introduction of metaphor and imagery here when it was a fairly straightforward poem in the beginning was an interesting technique. It was somewhat abrupt, but I think I liked it more than I disliked it.

Overall, I thought this was pretty awesome. It'll make a cool song, especially if you put a little work into revising it. The very idea of looking at yourself in a room of mirrors and doing some introspection isn't blindingly original, but what is these days? You took a good idea and ran with it, and I thought you did so to great effect.