#1
I've not been too great at returning crits but I hope to accomplish that with this piece
so if you leave something then i'll get to a work of yours
if you leave a link or direct me to it.


Last night
somehow,
my car's treads
had found my canine friend's
head
I killed my tiny cocker spaniel
it gave me something to write about
grief of loss is something everyone can connect with,
my pen danced about the page
spinning a tapestry
of brilliant eulogies.

"This is beautiful" I thought to myself
as I leaned back in my chair
and sipped coffee from my cup
then,
the drunk, t-bone inducing
driver slammed into my
stomach,
pop-tart chunks
with cream and sugar bits
ejected themselves onto the kitchen tile floor
I shuddered
on hands and knees with crippled breath,
tears welled under my
lids and dripped into
sugary sweet vomit
my body curled and my
tongue licked up the
puke like a sickly stray mutt
God, I'm so sick.


Love the Low end
#2
umm...kind of random like i dont say this about many lyrics but its to straight forward to the point where its just like wtf, put some more symbolism into this, good work though just needs a little work mines on the front page "sheep"