That was beautiful. Like...it really hit something personal inside me. AMAZING job. I don't think its post hardcore at all though...its just...so nice. If you recorded this with real, sincere heartfelt lyrics, this song could very possibly bring me to tears. No flaws. I think it's perfect.
dude, that was indeed beautiful.

although it did get kinda busy at points. very well written. kudos.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...

...You're still disappointing them...
Last edited by Its_Rock77 at Nov 25, 2008,

would you midn adding gp4?
i apologize for my bad english.
thanks alot, yeah i realized it does get a little busy at points but im thinking if it was recorded with actual instruments and vox, itd get a little cleaner sounding, what with all the technology and volume adjustments and stuff that could be done. yeah, ill add the gp4 and midi files in about an hour and a half, i got get all dressed up and stuff; got a job interview, lol.

gp4 and midi files have been added
Last edited by Pman666 at Nov 26, 2008,
Ok just listened to it, sounds pretty good, def. radio friendly if you catch my drift.

As some people have said in previous posts, it feels "busy" in some parts, theres a simple fix to this problem for the time being. My suggestion (this works for me when I find my songs seem too busy) is you assign stereo left and right for all your channels except for the vox, bass and drums. All guitar work, IMO, should be assigned their own stereo channel (left, right, center) to give it a more in depth feel, and trust me, theres a noticeable diff. once you do this. The drums def. felt generic and there was some ugly dissonance present from the lead guitar once I added in the stereo channels for the rhythm guitar, I fixed it all up.

I touched up your song a bit, hope you don't mind, sometimes I can never fully explain myself via words when talking about music, thank god for guitar pro lol. I've uploaded/attached it to this post so you can get an idea of what I hear in my head (in terms of things to add/improve) when I hear your song. Keep in mind I didn't spend too much time on this, prob. 10 min. listening to the song (re-listening some parts to get a better idea), 5 min on adding in some new acoustic parts, 5 min on the distortion guitars, and 10 min on the drums <--- I only added new drum parts up till bar 41 to give you an idea on how to keep things "interesting", I'm not going to do the whole song drumwise b/c its 1:30am right now and I'm about to pass out. So don't expect too much!

Normally, I don't listen to stuff like this (on a regular basis I mean), but once in a while this kinda stuff is just what the doctored ordered, so kudos and keep up the great work. If you need any help from me don't hesitate to ask, my semester is over and now I have a month off from school =D

Oh and I almost forgot, could you please crit my new song, its nothing like this lol please thanks!:
Why The Long Face.zip
that was really good
i agree with what people said about it sounding busy but i just panned it all out a bit and it sounded fine.
The drumks did sound quite generic but tbh i think it fits the style of the music.
there were one or two places where the lead guitar and the vocal melody seemed to clash a little bit but it may just be the midi, it always makes stuff like that sound much worse than real instuments would. idk maybe a quick revision could fix that anyway.
For the bridge i would suggest maybe halfing the drum speed up until about bar 37, other than that i cant think of much to do to it, it does make quite a difference imo though.

its a great piece and i rly enjoyed it, like 9.5/10

u mind hah?