Page 1 of 2
#1
I was learning about Greek gods in school today. There is a LOT of incest and rape going on! Apparently Zeus raped many women. He tried to seduce his sister, but when she refused his advances he turned into a bird which his sister than picked up and held to her breast. Then he turned into his natural form and raped her. Her sister was FORCED TO MARRY HIM FROM THE SHAME OF THE RAPE.

He confronted his mother and tried to rape HER! She turned into a snake and tried to flee but he turned into a snake also and raped her. Zeus raped at least 15 women, and in those times, most relationships BEGAN WITH RAPE.

Odysseus was apparently 'of great sexual stamina'. Once, he was entertained by 49 of the king's 50 daughters in one night. He left all of them pregnant. I worked it out and that's about 10 minutes for each woman...woah.

ANOTHER STORY I JUST REMEMBERED was when Father Sky tried to rape Mother Earth, but she refused and castrated him (go look it up kids). The blood from Father Sky then rained upon Mother Earth and IMPREGNATED HER. WTF? IT'S BLOOD!?!?!?

The moment I read about this I thought, "Oh God what would the Pit say to this?". I had to tell you guys.

EDIT: I read a few if your replies, and I expected nothing less from the Pit I guess =\
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
Quote by GogglesVK

hazardmaster has won this thread.


Fender Stratocaster 57' Reissue (Japanese)
Vox Valvetronix AD15VT
Last edited by hazardmaster at Nov 26, 2008,
#2
You wish you were an ancient Greek god don't you?
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#3
sounds like one of my family reunions.
Quote by Immortal_Guitar
ExiledSoul, you have just won the Best UG Liar award. Thanks for participating with your incredible dumbassery and lies.


Quote by gsr2k6
I have a turd with a carrot stuck in it. Its the GREATEST pet ever, makes quite the mess though.
#4
Why a snake, and not a cheetah. Still he got what he wanted, which was RAAAAAAAAPE!
Quote by Malakian88
Oh my bloody god. Imagine if you were a girl and you woke up to find your little brother's friend standing over you with his erect penis on your breasts...


Indeed.
#8
Pretty much all origin stories involve rape or incest.
Youtube covers

[url="http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJumboHumbo[/URL"]
#9
Yep. Even if the ladies weren't exactly into him, he was into them.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#11
You also forgot the story of the Minotaur....a girl called Pasiphae dressed in a bull costume and made love to a sacred bull.
#12
Quote by SteveHouse
Yep. Even if the ladies weren't exactly into him, he was into them.

IN them.
Originally Posted by evening_crow
Quoting yourself is cool.


WARNING: I kill threads.
#13
Quote by exiledsoul
sounds like one of my family reunions.


You sick, sick..
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
Quote by GogglesVK

hazardmaster has won this thread.


Fender Stratocaster 57' Reissue (Japanese)
Vox Valvetronix AD15VT
#14
Quote by evening_crow
IN them.

Yep. I'm glad you see what I did there.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#15
hahah i wish i could turn into a budgie...all cute n everything...get bought by some hot girl..hmm bide my time, get fed etc....the POW!

RAPE!
Quote by Jackal58
I only judge people based upon the color of their skin.


Quote by Kilty Boxers
id like to shave my balls, but i always cut myself and when i do my shaver is like om nom nom testicle skin.
#16
Quote by hazardmaster
ANOTHER STORY I JUST REMEMBERED was when Father Sky tried to rape Mother Earth, but she refused and castrated him (go look it up kids). The blood from Father Sky then rained upon Mother Earth and IMPREGNATED HER. WTF? IT'S BLOOD!?!?!?


So he came blood?
Quote by chimneyfish
"death-metal is the best when its in the shape of a dildo and shoved in my ass"


Born to lose...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...live to Win
#17
What is so weird about incestuous rape?
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#19
Don;t forget as well as the raope Zeus did a lot of Beastiality, or at least turned into various animals to impregnate human women including a bull abnd a swan. Wondfer if the women preferring to have sex witha swan or bull reflects on the Greek males of the time lol.
#20
Quote by spider666
So he came blood?


win
Quote by IncubusMan999
donkey the wise, very good

Quote by Metal_Rich
Living up to your name!


Currently searching for more ego padding quotes.

Me in pit = me being bored. Any help is much appreciated.
#21
Quote by HendrixClaptonP
Wondfer if the women preferring to have sex with a swan or bull reflects on the Greek males of the time lol.



I lol'd.
I mean this kind of humour is what i don't expect in the Pit, but it is not a problem, i love the net humour.
01110111001101101
10101101000
0110010
0101
01
0
******A Console Cowboy****** 1
01
0101
0110010
10101101000
01110111001101101
#22
What the ****?
Baby, can you dig your man?
He's a righteous man,
Baby, can you dig your man?

- Larry Underwood
#23
So.


have you by any chance jacked off to these stories?
Quote by icaneatcatfood
On second thought, **** tuning forks. You best be carrying around a grand piano that was tuned by an Italian
#25
Raining Blood! From a castrated sky!

I wonder if Jesus ever raped anyone.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#26
Quote by Zero-Hartman
Raining Blood! From a castrated sky!

I wonder if Jesus ever raped anyone.


I was at a crappy film festival in Leeds a few weeks back, and there was a competition to bring in your crappiest DVD.

The winner was a DVD called "Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist"

I was all , but now I really need to see this film.
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#27
Quote by metacarpi
I was at a crappy film festival in Leeds a few weeks back, and there was a competition to bring in your crappiest DVD.

The winner was a DVD called "Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist"

I was all , but now I really need to see this film.

Oh my God, I have to see this.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#28
I'm intriguied as to the thought process behind it:

"I really wanna make a film about Jesus"

"But Mel Gibson beat me to making Passion of The Christ, I've gotta approach it from another angle....."

"I know Serial Rapist! The perfect plan! It's original and will offend just about every motherfucker on the planet! Winner!"
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#29
It's religious trolling at it's golden finest I wonder if there'll be a sequel, or a series of films portraying Jesus as a psychopathic malcontent. Jacking a horse and cart GTA style.

Quote by hazzmatazz
youmakemesmile...

Quote by sebastian_96
Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#30
So what your saying is that its ok to rape because the gods do it? Awesome!
MASSIVE TEXT
#31
Well, what better role models do we have than gods?
Quote by SlinkyBlue
I remember when I was really young, I had a wet dream in which i was being dragged along an urban countryside by a pickup truck.

Don't ask me I have no idea how the hell it happened.




To Me:

Quote by Son.Of.TheViper

I love you
#33
Hades raped Persephone, who was the daughter of one of the gods.
The medium is the message!
#34
Quote by hazardmaster
ANOTHER STORY I JUST REMEMBERED was when Father Sky tried to rape Mother Earth, but she refused and castrated him (go look it up kids). The blood from Father Sky then rained upon Mother Earth and IMPREGNATED HER. WTF? IT'S BLOOD!?!?!?

So that's where cannibal corpse got it from...
PPPPPPPOSTFINDER
#35
Quote by spider666
So he came blood?


I mite sig this
Quote by IDread
You know something is wrong when you have to utter the words "I have ganja in my eye" to your mother...


Quote by RIPKurt67-94
Aliens don't exist. I live on Mars, and I can assure you that there is no life here.



I hijacked this!
#36
Odysseus is so awesome, the gods held time in place for him just so he could pleasure all 49 of those women. He spent about 5 hours on each one.

Odysseus is such a badass, I love the Odyssey.
#37
Quote by hazardmaster


ANOTHER STORY I JUST REMEMBERED was when Father Sky tried to rape Mother Earth, but she refused and castrated him (go look it up kids). The blood from Father Sky then rained upon Mother Earth and IMPREGNATED HER. WTF? IT'S BLOOD!?!?!?



RAINING BLOOD! FROM A LACERATED....tool?
#38
Greeks still do things like this today. Apparently KenMasters has a 'cat bride' and also had a one night stand with a lamb.
#39
Quote by el-ECTRO
You wish you were an ancient Greek god don't you?


I shall be Hades and you can be Persephone
Page 1 of 2