#1
It sounds all right to me
They’re death and wars over seas
Gunshots buzzing like bees
Snipers hanging in the trees

Then you get shot
It feels warm and sticky and hot
Youre only thinking one thought
Will I survive
Or will my enemy thrive
Its time to get back to the hive
Before they see me
Im talking bout the killer bees

Is it wort developing?
#2
"it feels warm and sticky and hot"... there is more than one assumtion that can be made from that line. i'd change it.
#3
It sounds all right to me
There are death and wars overseas
Gunshots buzzing like bees
Snipers hanging in the trees

Then you get shot
It feels warm and sticky and hot
You’re only thinking one thought
Will I survive
Or will my enemy thrive
Its time to get back to the hive
Before they see me
The killer bees

Is it worth developing? Yes.

The first line…”it sounds alright to me”. Reallly? I don’t understand that line after I read the rest. Is it just filler or is there a reason I do not understand? The last line…I think it should just be “The killer bees”. I didn’t like the “I’m talking about” part. It takes away from the whole piece and we already know what you are talking about. There were a few spelling mistakes we all make but I do think you should develop this and repost it.

If you want to crit one of mine take your pick.


Sweet Agony
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1004943

No More To Pay
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1007974