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#1
She asked our stepdad, who told her to go ask mum. Mum told her she was too young to know (she's 8), so she called Dad and asked him, and he told her to ask Mum. Then she asked me. Unfortunately, she's got dirt on me after she caught me fapping to gay porn (she knows what being gay is) so basically if I don't tell her by the end of the day, she's gonna tell Mum. And she knows the cabbage patch and stork stories aren't real.

What should I tell her? And I'm well aware that in coming to the pit the main answers will be along the lines of fap and/or rape and/or I Cum Blood, but I've also learned that occasionally , the Pit does come through.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#2
just tell her the truth...shes going to find out sometime.


either that or rape her and then say "there"
Call me Jack
#3
the cheap ones come from mexico. if you want a really good one you have to buy one made in america. the ones made in china are all cheap knockoffs.
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#4
Show her, use her body, and your finger..
Then post pictures!
I think its time to pack your things lets go,
To a place where we both know,
And dont worry, I'll drive real slow,
Spend some time before we go..
#6
I'm not gay, I'm bisexual. My stepdad knows, but he doesn't really care. My mum is religious. Need I go on?
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#8
Just tell her that your mom will tell her about it when she needs to know, because she doesn't need to, or want to know now. Tell it's really gross. It worked for Calvin and Hobbes, at least.
#9
Tried that. She doesn't care, and she can be very persistent.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#10
Show her some internet porn, standard stuff, missionary position, heterosexual, etc. Pause it mid thrust and point out object A, the penis, and object B, the vagina.

Tell her this is step one, resume playing the video, demonstrate the thrusting or use two fingers and a hole made with thumb and forefinger.

Then proceed to the cumshot, preferably a large one, on the face of object C, the female. Describe the semen to her, tell her this is the liquid used to make babies if it is shot into object B.

Hope this helps.
#13
Tell her about the birds and the bees,or whatever 2 animals stand for a man and a woman,your choice.


OR,give her a health textbook,tell her how to use the table of contents,and make her find out herself.
Last edited by el-shredder at Nov 27, 2008,
#14
well if she's caught you with gay porn, can't you just tell her?
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

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#15
haha you have to tell her. sorry. just trying to piss st.stephen off.

basically, tell her the truth. don't give her the whole birds and the bees talk. just tell her where the baby comes from. just say from between your mom's legs. dont be gross about it. but don't try to sugar coat it.
Quote by Immortal_Guitar
ExiledSoul, you have just won the Best UG Liar award. Thanks for participating with your incredible dumbassery and lies.


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I have a turd with a carrot stuck in it. Its the GREATEST pet ever, makes quite the mess though.
#16
If she's seen you fap, I'm pretty sure she's old enough to know
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#17
I don't know that story. I learnt sex through porn. And that's how I think she's gotta learn it too...I'm just scared that she'll then turn on me and say I've got straight porn.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#18
tell her the truth

who gives a ****, whats the worst that could happen. but for christ sake you better post results
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have cookie

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^^^ So much win, omg.
#19
Quote by shadow__666
What should I tell her?
A man's penis, becomes erect and enters a woman's vagina. After physical stimulation, he injects his sperm into her vagina, which then goes through biological process which cause a baby to grow inside of a women. 9 months after fucking, she then must "squeeze" the baby through herself, which many women claim to be the most painful experience of their life.
#20
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
If she's seen you fap, I'm pretty sure she's old enough to know

It's not like I had a neon sign on my bedroom door, it's just that locks aren't foolproof.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#21
Quote by exiledsoul
haha you have to tell her. sorry. just trying to piss st.stephen off.



lol me too
#22
Quote by Filter
lol me too


haha you are amazing!
Quote by Immortal_Guitar
ExiledSoul, you have just won the Best UG Liar award. Thanks for participating with your incredible dumbassery and lies.


Quote by gsr2k6
I have a turd with a carrot stuck in it. Its the GREATEST pet ever, makes quite the mess though.
#24
Tell her the basics I guess, I mean it's probably not going to be that awkward since she's 8 right and gonna think everything's sick anyways. Tell her they come from inside her

Just realised this could go in the sex thread
No? Yes?
#25
if you dont want them to know your bi, than killing your sister is the only answer.

seriously say this "Well when a boy falls in love with a girl he goes to bed with her and gives her a special hug"
#26
tell her before she surprises you. and that is not fun. my little five year old sister called me gay this morning while I was making her waffles. i asked her if she even knows what that means and she said (girl to girl or man to man
( I dropped the fork on its pointy end on my foot) I said "Is that what they're teaching you in school today?" she responded" No, I just use my brain"
[font="Arial Blackeat my asshole... far more tasteful than kissing someone's ass[/FONT"]
#27
lol gay porn, just tell her the truth. If she knows what gay is why shouldn't she know where babies come from.
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#28
Quote by shadow__666
It's not like I had a neon sign on my bedroom door, it's just that locks aren't foolproof.

I'm just saying.

Tell her the truth. If she saw you fapping and wasn't disturbed, then she can handle knowing abot plain old vanilla sex
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#29
OK, I'm gonna call her here and tell her the basics now.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#30
Quote by nelliehart {inf
tell her before she surprises you. and that is not fun. my little five year old sister called me gay this morning while I was making her waffles. i asked her if she even knows what that means and she said (girl to girl or man to man
( I dropped the fork on its pointy end on my foot) I said "Is that what they're teaching you in school today?" she responded" No, I just use my brain"



So was she right? Are you indeed a whip cream topped fruitcake?
#32
Quote by crackerpleaz
Just say they come from mommy's tummy.


i see your a mike birbiglia fan

ahahah thats gotta be embarassing you were caught
YOU WILL REMEMBER THIS SIG

8/7/09 man, the pear broke loose.

Rule #1 - I'm the Boss
Rule #2 - The Boss is always right
Rule #3 - When the boss is wrong see rule #2
#33
Quote by happytimeharry
Punch her in the uterus then say, "Not from you..."


Definately.

Thats all sisters are for. Uterus punch bags.
#34
Quote by happytimeharry
Punch her in the uterus then say, "Not from you..."




She's eight, give her the basic version. She knows that boys and girls have different organs, just give the "When a boy and a girl love each other, after they get married (Tell her this for the good big brother points), they use their organs to make a baby. But it hurts alot, so don't try it."
Quote by esidebill
When I was very young... I asked a man why his guitar had 4 strings. He smacked me on the head and said "SON THIS IS A BASS". I have been afraid of bassists ever since.


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Those brightened my day
#35
Quote by MeltingWaxFace
So was she right? Are you indeed a whip cream topped fruitcake?

I can only put it like this: nine times out of ten, a guy will do fine. but I admire some girls from afar. I had a crush on one of my best friends until she told me how much people she slept with and gave head to. then the thought of having to eat her pussy disturbed me.
[font="Arial Blackeat my asshole... far more tasteful than kissing someone's ass[/FONT"]
#36
This was the version I gave her.

"When a man and a woman love each other very much, the decide they want to share their love with someone else. So they decide to have a baby. What happens is, as you know men and women have different body parts here (points to crotch area). Now what the man does is he inserts his penis, the long thing you once saw me playing with, into the woman's vagina, which is the place you piss out off. That's how babies are made."

She's still staring.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#37
Quote by shadow__666
This was the version I gave her.

"When a man and a woman love each other very much, the decide they want to share their love with someone else. So they decide to have a baby. What happens is, as you know men and women have different body parts here (points to crotch area). Now what the man does is he inserts his penis, the long thing you once saw me playing with, into the woman's vagina, which is the place you piss out off. That's how babies are made."

She's still staring.

As you type
#38
Quote by shadow__666
This was the version I gave her.

"When a man and a woman love each other very much, the decide they want to share their love with someone else. So they decide to have a baby. What happens is, as you know men and women have different body parts here (points to crotch area). Now what the man does is he inserts his penis, the long thing you once saw me playing with, into the woman's vagina, which is the place you piss out off. That's how babies are made."

She's still staring.


that's hilarious!
Quote by Immortal_Guitar
ExiledSoul, you have just won the Best UG Liar award. Thanks for participating with your incredible dumbassery and lies.


Quote by gsr2k6
I have a turd with a carrot stuck in it. Its the GREATEST pet ever, makes quite the mess though.
#39
Quote by shadow__666
This was the version I gave her.

"When a man and a woman love each other very much, the decide they want to share their love with someone else. So they decide to have a baby. What happens is, as you know men and women have different body parts here (points to crotch area). Now what the man does is he inserts his penis, the long thing you once saw me playing with, into the woman's vagina, which is the place you piss out off. That's how babies are made."

She's still staring.


No visual aid? No role playing?


What a shitty teacher...
#40
i never had to have this conversation with my little sister. because she sat in the room watching maternity ward reruns with my grandma. if pictures are worth a thousand, imagine how live gorey video will change her life!!!
[font="Arial Blackeat my asshole... far more tasteful than kissing someone's ass[/FONT"]
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