#1
He was thoughtful, He was glad
He wanted more, and He was mad
He was fragile, He was strong
He was right, He was wrong
This is the Man with no heart,

He knows no better, He know no worse
He is happy, with his curse
He is the night, He is the morn
He your smile, He is my scorn
This is the Man who owns no heart,

He is the sound, He is the quiet
He is the peace, He is the riot
He is a shield for the weak
He is a plug for the leaks
He is color for the bleak
And this is the Man who cannot have a heart

He is hate, He is love
He is a crow, He is a dove
He is the finish, He is the start
And this was the Man with no heart.

(( Please leave INTELLIGENT comments.))
Last edited by AnarchoFarko at Nov 27, 2008,
#2
While I enjoy the flow and structure of the poem I can't see how the title relates to any of the other subject matter in any way.

Basically it seems that everything is a man with no heart, I just fail to see the relation. I can't see the message here I'm afraid.
#3
He was thoughtful, He was glad
He wanted more, and He was mad
He was fragile, He was strong
He was right, He was wrong
This is the Man with no heart,

He knows no better, He know no worse
He is happy, with his curse
He is the night, He is the morn (seems a little forced)
He is your smile, He is my scorn
This is the Man who owns no heart, (Owns? Just not sure.)

He is the sound, He is the quiet
He is the peace, He is the riot ( I like this line)
He is a shield for the weak (Why would a man with no heart shield the weak)
He is a plug for the leaks
He is color for the bleak
And this is the Man who cannot have a heart

He is hate, He is love (How about “He is hate without love”. No heart, remember.)
He is a crow, He is a dove ( I like the good and evil imagery)
He is the finish, He is the start
And this was the Man with no heart. (“Was”? What happened to him?)

(( Please leave INTELLIGENT comments.)) Define INTELLIGENT.LOL!!!

Not bad. I may not be getting the whole point here but I felt as if you were losing some of the message in this with some conflicting lines. Otherwise, good job.

If you want to crit one of mine take your pick.

Sweet Agony
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1004943

No More To Pay
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1007974