#1
This is the first song I have ever written. I dropped it to a G-B-C-D composition with some fancy chords that I could never name. Go easy on me

Something about you.
Written and composed by: Cody Howard

Your standing there with your arms open wide
waiting to give me a friendly good bye,
but you cant see what is on my mind
I think about you constantly.

Chorus-------------------------------------|
I wish that i could open up my heart
and spell my dreams out to you,----
and i wish that I could hold your hand
and walk with you all through the sand
yeah that is what id really like to do.----

Let me hold you just a second longer
i really wish this moment could last forever,
in your arms i really feel at home
but i know that its time to go
you've got your things and i've got mine.

Chorus

I wish that i could open up my heart
and spell my dreams out to you,----
and i wish that I could hold your hand
and walk with you all through the sand
yeah that is something i one day will do.....
#2
First verse is a bit confusing. I just imagine someone with their arms wide open would be waiting to give a friendly hello, as opposed to a friendly good bye. Also, friendly seems to weak of an adjective in my opinion. I enjoyed the chorus and that it was really sweet. However, the sand things just seems like it was added to fit the rhyme. I would be more specific with the sand (desert sand, hourglass sand, whatever) and tie it into the piece better. The last line of the chorus I wasn't too fond. It just seems unnecessary. I mean we already know that's waht the narrator wants to do. You don't have to spell it out for us. Last line of the second verse needs to be changed. I need something deeper than "I gotta do my thing, and you gotta do yours". Anyways, I hope this crit helped and I can't wait to read more from you.

Crit mine please
Garden of Pointsettias
#3
Thanks for your input. The little things at added mostly because of the chord structure.

I really thank you for your input and the reason i used some of the lines was because it's about a girl i was recently seeing and they were things that we did.