#1
I feel the rage deep inside,
The rapid flowing of my blood.
My veins are shaking so, so viciously.
I'm going to tear this cruel world apart.

Hell is what I'll unleash.
Pain is what you'll receive.
If you mess with me,
Six feet under is were you'll be.

They're all dead.
My homicidal desire has been fed.
They're all dead, dead, dead.
MY BLOOD GOES TO WORK, I HEAR THE HOWL!
#2
Just as bad as your other one.

Sorry man. Find another topic to write about.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#3
Quote by strat0blaster
Just as bad as your other one.

Sorry man. Find another topic to write about.


QFT

I used to think about writing songs like that, then I listened to some similar stuff and realized it just sounds immature.
#4
i'm not really into this gore talk and death talk, so sorry man, but i didn't really like it.
#5
Quote by ChainSawMurders
I feel the rage deep inside,
The rapid flowing of my blood.
My veins are shaking so, so viciously.
I'm going to tear this cruel world apart.

Hell is what I'll unleash.
Pain is what you'll receive.
If you mess with me,
Six feet under is were you'll be.

They're all dead.
My homicidal desire has been fed.
They're all dead, dead, dead.


well since everyone else just seems to want to tell you it isnt good without actually trying to help you ill attempt to give you some actual crit.

first off this isnt exactly my cup of tea so i dont really know to much about metal or death metal, which im assuming this is. i like that you don't try to rhyme every verse, thats something im really bad for. as for crit i just dont overly like the subject first of all, and secondly i think it's very under developed. dont want to sound like a dick but im just trying to give you some constructive crit. dont stop writing!

c4c

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=17368809#post17368809