#1
A new one. I'm such a hopeless optimist these days... Ravage it please!

Home Depot Psychiatry

Renovating Bathrooms
in South Carolina,
I'm stuck indoors
with the plaster
and drywall
holding in the
cool, beach breeze
and me.

I could
break down these walls,
rip up these tiles,
and rewire these circuits,
but then again,
perhaps I only need
a fresh coat of paint
and a brand new funhouse mirror
to make myself
look good again.
#2
haha That's pretty funny. I mean that in a good way, because it's not often you can get poetry like that from home renovation. I like those last three lines. I could use one of those myself. Kudos.
I'M IN THE FIGHT TO CURE CYSTIC FIBROSIS...MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!


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I'm a straight man, but I'd put that surfcaster right in my mouth.



Quote by JD2k9
Well, life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
Also, it's short but seems long when it gets hard.
#3
I really wasn't expecting to read something like that tonight.
Haha, it made me smile. Nice job.
KatehMonster
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just because you're a girl and you get more pussy than me doesn't give you the right to brag.
#6
Nice. One issue: Why do the walls hold the breeze and you in? I don't know if that was intentional, but it left me confused a little.

I liked it, it was simple, and the beginning seemed more like an exercise in writing, but then the second seemed more serious, and it had a nice kicker at the end. Good job.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1010006
#7
yeah, there's something conflicting with 'stuck indoors' and 'the cool, beach breeze' (i don't think grammar calls for a comma between these since your subject is already the 'beach breeze.' ...or something like that).
loved the ending though.
#8
Somewhat revised... updated comments?

Home Depot Psychiatry

Renovating Bathrooms
in South Carolina,
I'm stuck indoors
with the plaster,
the drywall,
and myself.

I could
break down these walls,
rip up these tiles,
and rewire these circuits,
but then again,
maybe I only need
a fresh coat of paint
and a brand new fun-house mirror
to make myself
feel good again.