#1
Yeah, this is my attempt at deathcore. Mostly influenced by bands such as Job For a Cowboy, Suicide Silence, Whitechapel and Waking the Cadaver (WHEEAAT SHREDDED WHEAAAT!!! :p.

I will C4C if I have enough time between homework and a social life .

Enjoy!!


UPDATE: Changed the chuggy chug's and made various other minuscule changes that I found sutable .
Attachments:
deathcore2.zip
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
Last edited by AngrySockMonkey at Nov 30, 2008,
#2
In my opinion this is actually pretty decent deathcore unlike Waking the Cadaver which i feel has given NJ a bad name (not as much as MCR) but besides that you have all the elements to a deathcore song slow heavy breakdown (simple yet effective), lots of tremolo picking, and a slight bit of harmony. Overall good for deathcore 8.5/10
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#3
Quote by kylendm
In my opinion this is actually pretty decent deathcore unlike Waking the Cadaver which i feel has given NJ a bad name (not as much as MCR) but besides that you have all the elements to a deathcore song slow heavy breakdown (simple yet effective), lots of tremolo picking, and a slight bit of harmony. Overall good for deathcore 8.5/10


Thanks.. want me to crit one of yours?
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
Last edited by AngrySockMonkey at Nov 29, 2008,
#4
The riffing isn't bad, but the breakdowns kill it and add absolutely nothing to the music, IMO.
Maybe U2 wouldn't suck so hard if they stopped preaching and started rocking instead. Of course, that's difficult to do with Pantera holding a near monopoly on all things that rock.
-Maddox.
#5
nah im good.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#7
Quote by Cafas
The riffing isn't bad, but the breakdowns kill it and add absolutely nothing to the music, IMO.


Yeah I see what you mean.. I should probably make them more complex.

Thanks for the crits all, I'll try to post a more technical version tonight or tomorrow.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#8
I didn't like bar 17 - 24 because that kind of work is SO overused in deathcore BUT I did enjoy it with the pinch harmonic 7 thrown in there. I thought that the main riff was pretty good and the best part of the song IMHO. Overall, the song was good but try to be more creative.
#9
Quote by The ZenOfShred
I didn't like bar 17 - 24 because that kind of work is SO overused in deathcore BUT I did enjoy it with the pinch harmonic 7 thrown in there. I thought that the main riff was pretty good and the best part of the song IMHO. Overall, the song was good but try to be more creative.


Thanks and sorry for spamming my own thread, but which riff did you consider to be the main one? The one that opened the song?

Again thanks for the crits, keep em coming
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#10
Quote by AngrySockMonkey
Thanks and sorry for spamming my own thread, but which riff did you consider to be the main one? The one that opened the song?

Again thanks for the crits, keep em coming


Yes.


I'm not sure if that is the main one, but that is the one I'm referring to. My song is in my sig thanks.
#11
I wasn't keen on the intro, seemed very messy. But it was good for it's genre, if that made sense? In other words, it's good but it's not the kind of thing i like?

The bit after the intro, sounded good at first but got very boring...quickly. When you varied the Chuggy 0-0-0, that sounded awesome. Got me nodding away, but again it went on for too long.
Okay, the song just finished. Was quite short, and not much happened.
I guess for a song of deathcore, it worked well and would be enough to get you pumping if heard live.
7/10

just work on a bit more variety and it should sound a bit better in the places where bordem takes over.
Sweet.
#12
Quote by Cafas
The riffing isn't bad, but the breakdowns kill it and add absolutely nothing to the music, IMO.


Don't criticise if you don't know what you're talking about
the breakdown is the heart of a deathcore song.
you don't have to see deathcore as a musicgenre
you have to see it as a band-crowd interaction
the breakdown is the megamoshparty and most known part of the song. DxC songs are rememberable due to their breakdowns not choruses (which most don't even have).

I find it ok, first breakdown is nice, I would only change the harmonics on that breakdown to an artificial because now they sound like a train xD. just my opinion.
also nice tuning and nice intro riff. write some lyrics on it I'd say
#13
Quote by BC_Warlock
I wasn't keen on the intro, seemed very messy. But it was good for it's genre, if that made sense? In other words, it's good but it's not the kind of thing i like?

The bit after the intro, sounded good at first but got very boring...quickly. When you varied the Chuggy 0-0-0, that sounded awesome. Got me nodding away, but again it went on for too long.
Okay, the song just finished. Was quite short, and not much happened.
I guess for a song of deathcore, it worked well and would be enough to get you pumping if heard live.
7/10

just work on a bit more variety and it should sound a bit better in the places where bordem takes over.


Yeah, hopefully with vocals it would eliminate the repetitiveness.

Thanks for crits all!

Should be posting something new in the next couple days too ;D!
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#14
Don't criticise if you don't know what you're talking about
the breakdown is the heart of a deathcore song.
you don't have to see deathcore as a musicgenre
you have to see it as a band-crowd interaction
the breakdown is the megamoshparty and most known part of the song. DxC songs are rememberable due to their breakdowns not choruses (which most don't even have).


Calm down, brosef. I'm plenty familiar with hardcore and deathcore. Hell, I play in a goregrind band, so I know breakdowns play an integral part. It just so happens a lot of -core bands don't even try, and just copy the same patterns. It's no better than death metal bands who copy the quarter note Suffocation breakdowns. My point is, don't assume things next time.
Maybe U2 wouldn't suck so hard if they stopped preaching and started rocking instead. Of course, that's difficult to do with Pantera holding a near monopoly on all things that rock.
-Maddox.
#15
Quote by Cafas
Don't criticise if you don't know what you're talking about
the breakdown is the heart of a deathcore song.
you don't have to see deathcore as a musicgenre
you have to see it as a band-crowd interaction
the breakdown is the megamoshparty and most known part of the song. DxC songs are rememberable due to their breakdowns not choruses (which most don't even have).


Calm down, brosef. I'm plenty familiar with hardcore and deathcore. Hell, I play in a goregrind band, so I know breakdowns play an integral part. It just so happens a lot of -core bands don't even try, and just copy the same patterns. It's no better than death metal bands who copy the quarter note Suffocation breakdowns. My point is, don't assume things next time.

Couldn't of said it better.


...Just disagree with you on the quarter note Suffocation breakdown's.
#16
This song reminds me very much of a song a wrote a few weeks ago as a joke/meaningless background riffage for my vocal experiments. Because of this, it has the same impact on me as my own song did, that is, its decently written, but lacks what I see as one of the most important attributes of a good songwriter, originality. You have some decent riffs here, and have exemplified a style of music accurately and effectively, but the abscence of new ideas makes the entire thing disposable and arbitrary, that is to say, I could get it anywhere else and there is no compelling reason to listen to your song over songs by Job For a Cowboy, Whitechapel, Suicide Silence, Carnifex, Despised Icon, and the like. Its just something to think about. I have nothing against deathcore, and personally love the genre, but if you were to do something creative and unique with your writing, then there would be something to set you apart from the masses of bands playing nearly identical music.

Now for the song.

The first riff is good. A bit generic insomuch that it fits the usual deathcore formula, but it sounds alright and is intense enough. I think some harmonies on the higher notes would sound good, similar to what you did in the seocnd riff at bar 9. Even if you just throw some octaves or 5ths here and there, it can do lots to break up the monotony.

Also, you might want to consider some drum changes every now and then. I've found in my writing that anywhere you use a blast beat, you can remove every other snare hit to form a d-beat. Lots of death metal bands do this, and I think it works magnificently to keep a riff interesting.

The riff at 9 is pretty much the same thing. It uses the same tonality and serves the same purpose. I would consider making the crash on the drums go double time the second time through the riff, it will make it more energetic.

17 is a breakdown. Nothing really to say about it, except, as far as breakdowns go, it does not feel very well thought out. It's overly simplistic, and there's a lot more that could be going on. A lead over it, or a more complex rhythm could help here. Also, it drags on far too long with no variation, and it never really leads up to anything but another breakdown. It seems as though it exist purely for no other reason than to be a moshy part, but, like I keep saying, it can still be a breakdown, but be musically interesting if you do something with it. As is, it feels thrown in and irrelevant.

Which leads me to my next point. After the first breakdown, the one at 33 seems like overkill. The tempo change is not very smooth and feels a bit forced. I also have a bit of an issue with it directly following a breakdown. The thing that makes breakdowns good is the context they are applied in. The contrast of going from an intense and energetic riff to a groove-oriented breakdown is what makes the breakdown sound good. Your song, unfortunately, has none of this contrast. I think you should put soemthing in between the two breakdowns to form some contrast, or else it just gets boring quickly. You know, too much of a good thing...

The reprise of the first riff at bar 42 is heading in the right direction I think. However, you are using the half-time drum feel waaaaaaaaaaay too much. There are beats besides blasts and breakdowns. Explore some middle ground with the drums so not every riff has the same feel. The second guitar that just chugs under the riff at 42 needs some work too. It feels too evenly spaced and sounds a bit forced.

Riff at 50 is alright. Again, the straight blasts need some variation, and some harmonies would work well on the guitars. The change at 40 is a good idea, but I think you should transpose the first guitar up an octave. As is, the chugging underneath clashes with the G# at the 4th fret and the F at the first fret. Also, moving it up an octave will muddy the sound less and put some notes in the high register that has been ignored during almost all of the song. Then this riff just slows until the end. I've never been a fan of fade out endings, I much prefer definite ending. Something to consider.

Overall, the song strikes me with one particular thought. lthough you've written a passable deathcore song, there feels like there is very little substance to the song. There is very little variation, and it doesn't help that a large portion of the song is breakdowns,which really don't seem like an active part of the song, they're there just for the sake of being there. Overall, it simply suffers from being too generic and cookie cutter, and leaves me feeling somewhat underwhelmed. It, quite frankly, is just average, nothing more or less.

Wow, I feel like a dick. Sorry I'm so critical, but you won't be able to improve your song if you don't acknowledge its shortcomings. Mind giving my (now kind of old) one a look?

Angry Orifice