#1
verse 1
i take a walk to the local park
and remember how it used to be
you would take me and my brother to
youd always wear a smile while you watched us play
you would ask me how to part your hair
down the middle or to the left
i remember all the times, you said you loved me

chorus

verse 2
i feel a tear rolling down my face
for everytime that i turned away
id never visit due to addictions
i know now that they didnt mean a thing
i turn the lightswitch on in your room
lying down pretending a pillow as you
i still hear your comforting voice, telling me goodnight

chorus

last chorus

[chorus]
even though, youre gone, i still feel your warmth
i even, hear your, laughter through the halls
i keep memories, so close to my heart

[last chorus]
even though, youre gone, ill still remember you
and the, memories, will be close to my heart
ill never forget, all the times we have smiled.
#2
Personally, I like it. =]
I can't give too much other than the spelling/grammatical stuff.
Well written, it shows you have a reason for writing it.
KatehMonster
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