#2
Control panel....

You should check out in the newbie section of ug forums instead of coming in the dangerous.... pit.
#5
Go to the Control Panel, above the "Post Reply" button at the top, and find "Edit Signature." There ya go.

Also, as kevC4 said, if you have questions like that, bring them up in the New Members Q&A Forum. Some of us here don't mind answering questions, but the majority of the people in The Pit won't give any answer aside from "lolwut" or "RUSSEL, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
#6
Haha, i've been here awhile, and I know how the pit is. I just don't pay attention >_>