#1
Okay, I know that some of you have firm beliefs and that to me is a milestone in life. Beliefs can be entrenched from a young age or found through role models, experiences or education.

In my case however, it simply came down to experimentation.

It was a typical Saturday around the apartment, nothing of major relevance occured, the usual fap, UG, called the gf (she's upstate at the moment), and then played guitar for a bit. I'm gonna actually ask a personal question here, and I think it basically has to do with dietary factors, but I always seem to have quite annoying and aggravating bowel movements.

They seem to be too sticky, too explosive or just too lacking in flow. I have at times relied on the old accidental food poisoning (where the poop is just explosive and you basically feel like you've given birth afterwards), and then there's the spicy food reaction, which is actually quite similar to the accidental food poisoning in most ways, except the burnage factor seems lower.

So....I guess I saw the light when I was rewatching "Dumb and Dumber" while we sat around on a boring Saturday smoking a joint. I thought, Harry sure does get Lloyd quite good with those laxatives..man that would suck.

But wait.

Would it really suck? I mean, sure he's at a girls place, he wants to get teh dinky stinky and yeah, I can relate man....no guy wants to drop an epic dump into any toilet that belongs to a chick that you wanta bang..let alone a toilet post dump that won't flush.

So I walked slowly into the bathroom and reached into the medicine cabinet and slowly opened the box of laxatives. They are chocolate flavored and I was intrigued.

"Will this match up to a kitkat?"
"Will this be a good cure for the munchies?"
"Will I regret this shit??"

Well. I didn't.

Between explosive reactive occurances combining schpincter contractions and shaky legs with a nice measure of cold sweats, numbness and "What the hell man? What the flipping fuck????", coming from my roommate in between howling laughter and poop splashes I can clearly say I found the fucking light.

After about 40 minutes I re-emerged from the bathroom. The odor was actually not as bad as I would have thought. I felt lighter, relieved and like I mentioned earlier, felt as if I had given birth. I chugged literally 2 litres of juice in the kitchen and entered the living room. My roommate looked up and before I could open my mouth or explain my reasons I saw him shrug and



that was his basic reaction.

We sat on the couch with an uneasiness and after one more "what the hell?" in between a little chuckle my roommate went to his bedroom. I can imagine in a wierd way how Union Jake felt during that "Prestige" movie session. I have changed my life, and my bathroom regimen, my roommate has seen a new side of home life and best of all, I have seen the "light".
Last edited by MeltingWaxFace at Nov 29, 2008,
#6
Um, excuse me?
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#7
K.
Daron. The Pit loves you.
daron aka kosmic is now a pit legend
Best post on the pit. Good for you.
thats pretty epic.
So you're like a slower paced Forrest Gump...
Yup...
#13
i dont follow.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
lmao XxGloriousxX is a genius

Quote by Pinky19
You guys fail. Except for you Glorious. You win.

Once again.
Quote by Guitarfreak777
I would shoot them to death yes, but trying to aim for non-leathal, hoping they live.

which one is it Guitarfreak777?
#17
Ok, the so called "Enlightenment" pioneered by geniuses like John Locke and Rene Descartes was just the ground work to your amazing discovery. This very defining moment in history. You have discovered the usefulness of chocolate flavoured edibles that make you poo? Bravo!
#18
Quote by Trefellin
Ok, the so called "Enlightenment" pioneered by geniuses like John Locke and Rene Descartes was just the ground work to your amazing discovery. This very defining moment in history. You have discovered the usefulness of chocolate flavoured edibles that make you poo? Bravo!


And with that conclusion, i applaud you TS, well done.
#20
Quote by CLVPX
YOU WANNA LlCK MY BUTTHOLE?



TS, that is interesting to say the least.
Quote by LPDave
and my mom then told me to masturbate more.

Quote by Toastbot

Big burly men grunting without shirts on pretty much summed up my childhood.

Quote by The Leader
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do more look like?
#21
I call my enlightenment the "Chocolat veuve, chocolat raine", my personal piece de resistance...ah screw it..where's that guy who needs his BUTTHOLE LICKED??
#23
he's so f*cking drunk right now...
D F O I N N T D
T W H O I R S D
Y O O R U
W S I U L C L K
A M S Y S

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Beautiful.
XxLloydxX for president!
Even though I'm english..

Want to hear Super Mario Bros Theme on electric rock guitar? SuperMarioBro
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#25
This is why I love the Pit....
I'M IN THE FIGHT TO CURE CYSTIC FIBROSIS...MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!


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I'm a straight man, but I'd put that surfcaster right in my mouth.



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Well, life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
Also, it's short but seems long when it gets hard.
#26
tl;dr: Took a crap, felt better.
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