#1
c4c; I still need to get back to people from my older poems as well.
I don't like this very much at all but ah well; what can you get for pulling something out of your ass. I needed to vent.
edit: ignore everything I just said; you don't need any predisposition. take as is


What is God?..
I am connected to you through
this screen and the tap tap tap of
my fingers on the keys of
nothing musical.
Drink this text as if it
means something to you -
today I want to reach into your soul
and have a squeeze
for my existence as
a picture and some meaningless words
is all you have
of me.
Today I want you to remember that
although I don't mean shit in your life
the whole in my soul is one
that encompasses all
And the waver of a string
crack in a voice
groove in a beat
push in a kiss
mother's tears
are all shared humanity.

All we are is movement.
Move me and you exist.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

Last edited by vintage x metal at Nov 29, 2008,
#2
All we are is movement.
Move me and you exist.


i liked this line; it spoke to me of the whole idea of this song without having to stoop to cliches or anything.

overall, it was effective and i thoroughly enjoyed it. good job with the metaphors.
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#3
this did what you wanted it to. And i happened to enjoy it. I'll come back later after a few more reads and see if i can't tear into it