#1
i litttle something i wrote
what do you think

Verse 1:

I smile at you as you walk away
I remember a day when it wasn't that way
You would come running back my way
And thats all I would have to say well

Chorus:

Times have changed and we have to
people and places we've known so true
The times we've had together why couldn't they last
but behind those blue eyes do you
still see me the way you used to

Verse 2:

Seems so long ago that we used to be
tight like the knot on a old oak tree
We'd sit together what good times we had
Talking about things that would make us laugh but

Chorus:

Times have changed and we have to
people and places we've known so true
The times we've had together why couldn't they last
but behind those blue eyes do you
still see me the way you used to
#2
this deserves comment, its not perfect yet esp the first two lines of chorus where i think you mean times are changin' and so must we- but its not immediately clear.

the rhyme in first verse could do with a little more variety, but nice overall structure and form with the one word step up the chorus, love the 'knot on the old oak tree' metaphor!
Last edited by Spectrum GT at Dec 2, 2008,
#5
yeah the first verse could use some diversity, the grammer probably isn't top notch but thanks for the critique
anything else
Last edited by hagstrom_9 at Dec 7, 2008,