This is the first song I've ever actually been able to sort of finish, haha. So I thought I'd put it out there. I usually only get half way through a song then scrap it but I really like how this one turned out. I hope it makes sense, or at least somewhat. Any criticism and help is welcome, I'm sure it's needed. Thanks.

Dancing In The Sky

The telescopes been turned around
Everything's seeming so much smaller now
I can't seem to wrap
My head around this one
Maybe you can take my hand
Take my fears, along with all this pain
And maybe someday I
Can be the man I once was

Finally, I can see
The way the sky was meant to be
Free and clear the way it was
Before the clouds all took it up
The suns shining freely
The light blues dance so neatly
One day I'll be able to see it all again

You are my friend
And so much more
You've favored my heart
And given me yours
For as long as you've been here
I've known you've been the one

Your love has become so much more
I know that I am sure
The way I feel is pure
I'll be yours

Finally, I can see
The way the night was meant to be
Dancing and starry the way it was
Before the darkness took it up
The moons beaming down
The stars are gleaming now
I turn and take a bow
I blow a kiss to you
Our loves become so true

I can see it all again

Edited some of it. Tell me what you think, I think it flows nicer now.
Last edited by RODS at Dec 2, 2008,
Thanks a lot for the feedback, it's really appreciated. Glad you guys like, I revised it a bit, I think it works now.