#1
i was getting some food at the taco bell i used to work at for lunch today. i recognized the voice of the girl taking my order at the drive thru. i had heard a few months ago that her and her husband had gotten a divorce. so at the drive thru i told her i heard that she got divorced. she said yea we did. and i told her to give me her number. now that's awesome....but i have a girlfriend that i'm crazy about and i don't want to lose her....****ing damnt....
the arsonist had oddly shaped feet...
#2
Nope, could've been worse.

You could have developed cancer right there and then.

ಠ_ಠ

wat