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#1
I moved in with my grandparents in their 1 bedroom apartment last month because they're both old and just need help doing everything.

My grandma is sick, i think shes mentally ill.

She hasen't taken a bath since i've been there.. shes only changed her clothes like once..

SHE SMELLS LIKE ****, its so nasty.. i keep begging her to take a bath but she wont, everytime she sits down by me on the couch im like.. jesus ****ing christ grandma take a ****ing bath!


i dont know what to do, apart from recomend we have sent to a nursing home.. i can't even go home that place smells like **** and she won't bathe.
#4
ra...

Umm... throw a bucket of soapy water on her.
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#5
If you believe she has a mental problem then get her checked out professionally

You clearly don't have the balls to take care of her

Also, smack that bitch upside the head.
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#8
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
I can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do

Yes you can

I forget what it's called but you can gain the legal power to make medical decisions and force her into a home to get professional help (is it power of attorney or something?)
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#11
Quote by Liam.
Yes you can

I forget what it's called but you can gain the legal power to make medical decisions and force her into a home to get professional help (is it power of attorney or something?)

Well yes, but thats the last thing my grandfather wants. We're trying to avoid having her declared mentally unable or w/e the term is
#13
If she's old she probably can't get in and out of the bath without a lot of effort and probably pain...and she probably has virtually no sense of smell either.

Tell her to have a shower
#14
Is she lucid?

My grandma was exactly like that when she was in the early stages of alzheimer's disease. She would talk a lot, but it didn't really make sense and she would also wear layers of clothing, even when it was already hot outside. You should take her to a doctor.
#15
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Well yes, but thats the last thing my grandfather wants. We're trying to avoid having her declared mentally unable or w/e the term is



Why? She's living disgracefully just because you're not giving her the proper help she deserves. Instead, all you do is sit there and whine about how she smells.

Send her to someone who can actually take care of her properly.
#16
Maybe she likes smelling like that?

You are so inconsiderate. You go in there with your opinions and try change her when she's been around a lot longer than you!

I'm glad I'm not your foul smelling grandmother.

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#18
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Well yes, but thats the last thing my grandfather wants. We're trying to avoid having her declared mentally unable or w/e the term is


ummm
retarded?

but seriously, get some medical help, and be more concerned about other things than her smell, hygene isnt just to be attractive, its to be healthy.
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#19
Start spraying her with febreze
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#20
Quote by Liam.
If you believe she has a mental problem then get her checked out professionally

You clearly don't have the balls to take care of her

Also, smack that bitch upside the head.



If you've ever had an elderly relative that needs looking after, you'll realise what a silly thing that is to say.


TS: what is your grampa saying? your parents? Any other guardians?
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#21
Sorry to tell you this, but it's almost over for them. This happened to me about 2 years ago, and they both passed away within a month of each other back in February. Very sad time.
#22
Nobody knows what to do, we can all agree that she would be extremly unhappy in a nursing home.

My grandfather would probably be really misrible without her company all the time, and shes not completly unable to do things.. she could take a bath if she wanted to.. she walks around outside multiple times a day.. shes just.. crazy really
#23
Quote by Liam.
Also, smack that bitch upside the head.


+1
#24
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Nobody knows what to do, we can all agree that she would be extremly unhappy in a nursing home.

My grandfather would probably be really misrible without her company all the time, and shes not completly unable to do things.. she could take a bath if she wanted to.. she walks around outside multiple times a day.. shes just.. crazy really

You think it's fair for her to live that way if she's mentally unstable?
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#25
If it gets worse, I don't really know what advice to give you, in the end all you can do is either always be looking after her (this gets very stressful and more painful as time passes, and generally gets harder and harder as well) or put in her in a home. I know which i'd choose...

Unless there are serious health issues, it's probably just up to your grampa. He's the one who'll suffer the most either way.
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#26
Quote by webbtje
She's living disgracefully just because you're not giving her the proper help she deserves. Instead, all you do is sit there and whine about how she smells.


This.

Its extremely difficult to look after elderly people at first, and all credit for you for doing so, but you will get used to it. I think that you may have to be a bit more pro-active on this issue.
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#28
That is ****ing funny
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#29
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Nobody knows what to do, we can all agree that she would be extremly unhappy in a nursing home.

My grandfather would probably be really misrible without her company all the time, and shes not completly unable to do things.. she could take a bath if she wanted to.. she walks around outside multiple times a day.. shes just.. crazy really


It sounds like she may have Alzheimer's. My Grandma has the same disorder, and she fits the description you are giving of your Grandma. If that is the case, then saying "Jesus ****ing Christ Grandma, take a ****ing bath" (a direct quote ) is probably the most insensitive, and stupid thing I have ever heard. If you cared for her at all, you would do something pro-active, instead of complaining about her violating your nostrils.
#30
Quote by Peaceful Rocker
Nobody knows what to do, we can all agree that she would be extremly unhappy in a nursing home.

My grandfather would probably be really misrible without her company all the time, and shes not completly unable to do things.. she could take a bath if she wanted to.. she walks around outside multiple times a day.. shes just.. crazy really


Then he goes to the same nursing home. It ain't rocket science.

While you procrastinate, he is treated to the sight of his wife losing her dignity, sitting around, smelling of shit.

shes just.. crazy really


Yeah, you come across as exceptionally mature and patient with her.
#31
Theres not much I can do about it, shes been to alot of doctors recently.

My grandfather, my mom, both of my uncles have to all be ok with any decision that happens.. right now they're chosing to look the other way
#33
Time for a home, or, as my dad keeps saying, he wants me to kill him if I ever think he needs to go into one of those goddamn places.

So home or euthanasia.
#34
maybe she just wants to piss you off, old ppl do that...
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#36
Get your head out your arse and do something about it.

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#37
Quote by frusciante_50
It sounds like she may have Alzheimer's. My Grandma has the same disorder, and she fits the description you are giving of your Grandma. If that is the case, then saying "Jesus ****ing Christ Grandma, take a ****ing bath" (a direct quote ) is probably the most insensitive, and stupid thing I have ever heard. If you cared for her at all, you would do something pro-active, instead of complaining about her violating your nostrils.

Yeah, he's insensitive because he's reacting in manner which he doesn't know he shouldn't

It may be ineffective and seem insensitive, but give him a break. If she really does have it, then why is he being sensitive? How should he know?
#38
I grew up in an old folks home and later cared for an elderly relative at home - I know the kind of things you are going through - though of course every case is different.

Just because she does not want a bath, does not mean she is going through early stages of dementia or alzhiemers. Just because she's a bit forgetful and dotty does not mean she has/will get Alzhiemers.

We had a resident called Mabel 15 years ago who never washed and hated having her room cleaned - she wanted to do it hereself but couldn't/didn't. I couldn't go in her room is was that bad sometimes (especially summer) but she's still going in antoher home (we got out of the business 10 years ago), still a bit dotty and now has a new hip - but she still knows who we all are - still keeps on top of the news etc.

It may be a case (especially if she's not as steady on her feet) that she does not feel safe on her own but does not want help from a family member. At that age dignity is everything.

You need to talk to a health professional, the local age care unit etc and find out what help is available. Home help may be a good option - someone to pop in a few times a week, help with the cleaning, bathing do a bit of shopping etc.

In the short term - I would suggest being very tactful and say if you have a bath this morning - I'll take you to the hairdressers this afternoon.

Old dears do like to look nice and do get very bored a trip out for a set and blow dry (my nan calls it a blow job, which is always good fun!) makes 'em feel special - if she cant get out, book someone to come to her home.

Feel free to PM if you have any questions etc
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#39
ask your grandpa to make her take a bath. OR tell her that it's very rude and inconsiderate to be living in your home and refusing to do something as simple and easy as take a bath. Maybe she's just scared of slipping in the tub and hurting herself?
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