#1
This my third song now. This is a melodic death metal piece. I really hope you guys like it and remember C4C.
Attachments:
Diary of...zip
Last edited by The ZenOfShred at Dec 2, 2008,
#2
its good.
but.
the sweeps in the solo are pointless, there is nothing musical about them in this song. (not saying that sweeps are not musicaly, i love them). just i dont thik they fit.
#3
The triplets sound bad. I love how your trying to be original, I really do. But you can still do original things without using weird syncopation and oddly placed notes in riffs.

Overall, I liked the outro and thats about it.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#4
Quote by AngrySockMonkey
The triplets sound bad. I love how your trying to be original, I really do. But you can still do original things without using weird syncopation and oddly placed notes in riffs.

Overall, I liked the outro and thats about it.



The rest of the song sucked?
#5
Quote by The ZenOfShred
The rest of the song sucked?


Not sucked, not at all. It was interesting, but too exotic. I think if you tweaked it to be a little more.. hmm.. non-exotic it would be great.

Example: where you have the 16th notes and.. I think it's every high note on the third of the group of four. Well, in MOST music (I'll tell you now I hate suggesting somebody to be like everyone else, but I think it sounds better), especially with the drum pattern you have, it would be on the first or the second in the sequence of four.

Anyways, I think you know what I mean >_>.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#6
Quote by AngrySockMonkey
Not sucked, not at all. It was interesting, but too exotic. I think if you tweaked it to be a little more.. hmm.. non-exotic it would be great.

Example: where you have the 16th notes and.. I think it's every high note on the third of the group of four. Well, in MOST music (I'll tell you now I hate suggesting somebody to be like everyone else, but I think it sounds better), especially with the drum pattern you have, it would be on the first or the second in the sequence of four.

Anyways, I think you know what I mean >_>.


I redid the drums and fixed up the solo. Tell me what you think.
#7
Yeah, I like it a lot better this time around. Not bad, if I remember correctly, you are pretty new to writing. Soon enough you'll start making awesome amazing d**** too if your starting out with this .
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#8
Quote by AngrySockMonkey
Yeah, I like it a lot better this time around. Not bad, if I remember correctly, you are pretty new to writing. Soon enough you'll start making awesome amazing d**** too if your starting out with this .


That means a lot coming from you. I have seen a lot of your pieces and they are just simply amazing.


PM me when you want a crit on a new piece you come up with.
#9
The intro was kinda strange.
Especially when the lead comes in and does that rhythmic chugging.
It's a lot more groovier than most chugging, so kudos on that.

The verse riff is good.
I like the melodicism is this part, especially the swelling harmonized bends.
Definitely sets the mood, like The Absence or some Amon Amarth.

You lead into the chorus quite well, but coming back on the other side with the verse again was a little jagged.
The chorus in itself was nicely done.

The harmonized tap licks during the second part was good too.
Kept things interesting.
Also a good way to lead into the chorus again.

You know how I feel about the chorus.

That bridge, was---well, it did link the finale together, but I feel you could have done more.
It was too generic.
It served well as a backing track for the solo, but it wasn't on par with the rest of the song.

The solo, on the other hand, was the best part of the song, coupled with the "quiet" outro.
I'm not one for excessive quaver runs, but the context of the solo really did fit the bill.
What I mean is that it contrasted well against the backing rhythm.

Outro is the chorus, so you know...

This probably the best of your work.
I didn't like that second song all that much (Heaven...), and the first one is just below this one.
This one takes the cake (which is always a lie) for being more focused and having awesome melodies.
This one is 9.5/10.