#1
Tell me what you think. The main problem I have with it, is that it feels too cliched in places for my liking.

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Day breaks upon this town, as the hero cleans his blade
The early sun beats down, and quickly forms the shade
that hides the blood, that hides the night's stains
the hero looks on, the hero looks on

and the sun, beats down
(and the) sun beats down
(and the) sun beats down
and the legend lives on

He sold his soul for sword
He charred his mind for a title
We're all within his hands
We're pawns on his table, no more

Blinded by the brilliance of his colours; of his name
We'll follow him into the darkness
He may or may not know, what he's doing, who he's got in tow
Either way, this has to stop

So open more than your eyes, to see this hero
see past the guise of words and skin
Leave him with nothing more than a sword
metal cannot defend him
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You're just another brick in the wall
#2
eh. not my sorta songwriting
if this is meant to be an extended metaphor, its not clear what its a metaphor for.
if its not, i dont really jive with dude doing battle viking-style
i feel like good advice is 'write what you know'
none of us are vikings
therefor i dont really feel anything for this work
sorry mate
~b
#3
Quote by ChordMonger
eh. not my sorta songwriting
if this is meant to be an extended metaphor, its not clear what its a metaphor for.
if its not, i dont really jive with dude doing battle viking-style
i feel like good advice is 'write what you know'
none of us are vikings
therefor i dont really feel anything for this work
sorry mate
~b


Heh, nothing to do with Vikings. It is more of a metaphor - and the song certainly isn't metal. Thanks for pointing that out though.
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You're just another brick in the wall