#1
leave links.
okay.


who says,
the night ends when morning
begins?
im awake still and you are hogging the couch as usual.
garden state pixelates our shiny new television screen,
candles lit for a mood no longer appropriate.
do you not wish to hear the words of the ghost that followed me here?
what a fool he is, i know this,
what i a fool i was to bring it all to your attention.
the eclectic blanket you cover yourself in traps the secrets
you whispered away to me so carelessly last night at 2 am.
wine drunk and barely in love,
egg shells and scales we've yet to weigh ourselves on.
'anna stuffs her bra and shelly, oh shelly purposely wears those spray on jeans to show off her camel toe. isabelle? ugh, don't even get me started on isabelle.'
a friend of a friend of a great lover you once knew,
the lint in my belly button and the wax in your eyelids,
it's all gravy,
baby,
it's all whatever for whatever's sake.
i'm just worried about that ambiguous grin you shelve upon your face,
a pack of cigarettes,
a case or a bottle it doesn't matter,
i'm just curious as to where you got that bruise on your lower lip and
how you could ever love a coward like me;
oliver radson,
blue in the face wading in a semen white bathtub,
sleep deprived,
hope contrived,
a transparency becoming more and more
transparent.
Last edited by rushmore at Dec 3, 2008,
#3
You're amazing.

I'm speechless.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#4
As always, amazing. Just a quick note, there's a typo on line 9 "what i a fool i was to bring it all to your attention" The i shouldn't be there.
#6
The connatations I find in this are fantastic.
You keep us slugging along with you, ridding each saddle-less horse that comes our way. But you then take us down and relieve our mess on a soft beanbag with a duck feather blanket, warming our cold hearts. But actually, you do it in a very depressing and soulful manner, which is totally contrary to the image of comfort and quiet...

beautiful.
#7
if you want links there is two in my sig. I still can't find anything worng with this, and to be honest, i stopped looking a while ago. Such a great read. I am so nominating you for December WotM when it comes around
#9
it's all whatever for whatever's sake.
i'm just worried about that ambiguous grin you shelve upon your face,


Fantastic couplet.
#10
This is incredible. So much great stuff here. Great tone, content and internal rhymes.

the last few lines blew me away.

egg shells and scales we've yet to weigh ourselves on. is a jem as well.

the only thing i kinda didn't like was "oh shelly". it seems to cut of from the flow a little.

overall, wonderful.

(freeze tag. por favor)