#1
I read the six-year old's
Martin Luther King Jr. Day assignment
on my aunt's refrigerator.
She wrote, "I had a dream
that mommy didn't have cancer
and didn't sleep so much."

I found my little sister's journal
the other day, and inside,
beyond the doodles and
high school freshman dramas,
there was a scribbled out poem,
but through the scratches, I read,
"when Nick went back to rehab...
I lost my best friend."

and I remembered the note
my brother wrote,
blaming my divorced parents
for getting him placed in rehab,
with a rudimentary drawing,
a stick figure with middle finger
stuck straight up, and
"I hate you" scribbled beside it.

I wrote this --
I guess we all have our problems.

I should be studying I should be studying I should be studying I should be studying I should be studying I should be studying I should be studying I should be studying... ots. I ****ing hate calc
Last edited by SilenceEvolves at Dec 6, 2008,
#2
Wow. I didn't even realise it was a poem/song lyrics til the end of the 2nd verse. I think it's really good. Not too sure on the end but the 1st three verses are really good. Quite poignant and emotional.
#3
I like it, it's quite good. I'm not totally sure about the last verse, it just feels sort of forced
Beau, oui, comme Bowie
#5
^ I think that's a typo, but I agree. THis is a very strong piece. It had some gorgeous lines as well, like:
"I had a dream
that mommy didn't have cancer
and didn't sleep so much"

That's probably my fav part.