#1
(Verse 1) I've been waiting for so long now
I can barely remember
The first time that we spoke
And it seems I've been waiting
For an eternity

(Chorus) And no matter what, I know
All I need is you, all I need is you
All I need is you, yeah all I need is you

(Verse 2) Keep things to yourself too long
They'll destroy you from inside
I'll give it one more shot
I guess it's worth a try

(Repeat Chorus)

(Verse 3) Looking back at what could have been
Never did much good
When at the end of the day
Still not much has changed
I still find myself thinking
All I need is you

(Repeat Chorus)

First song I've written in a while, any tips, comments?
#3
Quote by Four Symbols
wow, that's very close to what I'm going through now... Nice work! I like.


Thanks, anything I could do to improve it?
#5
I like it, but the chorus lacks any sort of hook to drag you in. 'all i need is you' should only really be repeated twice in the third line. I would change the second line, but still based on the need thing - eg:

And no matter what, I know
I don't need X, I don't need Y
All I need is you, yeah all I need is you

...hope that helps?
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#6
Quote by NckSprks
(Verse 1) I've been waiting for so long now
I can barely remember
The first time that we spoke
And it seems I've been waiting
For an eternity

(Chorus) And no matter what, I know
All I need is you, all I need is you
All I need is you, yeah all I need is you

(Verse 2) Keep things to yourself too long
They'll destroy you from inside
I'll give it one more shot
I guess it's worth a try

(Repeat Chorus)

(Verse 3) Looking back at what could have been
Never did much good
When at the end of the day
Still not much has changed
I still find myself thinking
All I need is you

(Repeat Chorus)

First song I've written in a while, any tips, comments?


You live in a great location for a John Denver fan ! -

Well, this only reminds me of a poor mans 'Radiohead - All I need'

It is good though, I would not change much as the piece is structured well and I would not want to tell you how to feeling, and in return suggest reasons for you to change words etc.

"yeah all I need is you"

I don't like the 'yeah' it sounds cheap.