#1
This is gonna be an acoustic

Doesn't know
Doesn't see
Blind to you
Blind to me

All i've given
All i've lost
A chance at love
But at what cost?

She turns her back
Turns to go
Paralyzed with guilt
A relationship the devil built
(not such a great line but still...)

(chorus)

But she'll be back someday
Its time to find a way
Cause this is not the day
It can not end like this

Numb feeling surreal bliss
Waiting for one more kiss
And Im gonna find a way

(End chorus)

Cause you'll be back someday
Another moment, here i stay
In your arms
ill be subject to your charms

warm embrace and tender care
fleeting through the midnight air
all these things just fall away

And fade into another day

I noticed it started to kinda spin off and go random places but it was on the spot.
hope someone likes it, also yes it is an EMO song, i wrote this because of someone i cant get, so yes it is emo.
Last edited by koolrockr99 at Dec 6, 2008,
#3
This is gonna be an acoustic

Doesn't know
Doesn't see
Blind to you
Blind to me

All i've given
All i've lost
For a chance at love
get rid of for, because it still makes sense
But at what cost?
a little blunt.

She turns her back
Turns to go
And I just watch
cause I don't know
eh. again, not crazy about the last line.

(chorus)

But she'll be back someday
Its time to find a way
Cause this is not the day
It can not end like this
holy emo. no, but really... this is pretty cliche slit-my-wrists dashboard confessional.
Numb feeling surreal bliss
Waiting for just one more kiss
take out just
And Im gonna find a way

(End chorus)

Cause you'll be back someday
Another moment, here i stay
In my open arms
you shall come to no harm
hate this line.
warm embrace and tender care
fleeting through the midnight air
all these things just fall away
like the second to last line, the last is okay, but for the rest it's boring and just not very good. feels like you're pushing it to make it longer.

And fade into another day

I noticed it started to kinda spin off and go random places but it was on the spot.
hope someone likes it
it's pretty okay, but you need some work.
crit my song? taracing bones, in my sig.
-an²a
#4
awesome song but needs a bit of work on some of the lines, keep it up though, thats really good.


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