#1
The city starts so early and creates itself a storm of ghosts and silhouettes, a semblance of endless endearments. This ocean can try with it’s tide to separate us.

The sun will fade and improve someone’s day, making it so much better. I swear the sunlight is her shadow. It stays in step behind. These lights, these lights.

Her incandescence seems to grow, knowing no bounds. Illuminate this! Turn this city from night to day. Morning, morning, I’m mourning. Morning, morning, I’m mourning. She seems to be lost.

c4c
#2
Quote by Matt Chavie
The city starts so early and creates itself a storm of ghosts and silhouettes, a semblance of endless endearments. This ocean can try with it’s tide to separate us.
get rid of us and leave some vast mystery! but great imagery in just this first little bit! i'm digging it and i don't dig much.

The sun will fade and improve someone’s day, making it so much better. pretty blunt. try, "with the sun's fade, improving someone's day, everything will get better. or something I swear the sunlight is her shadow. It stays in step behind. These lights, these lights. i really do like this last bit here, though!

Her incandescence seems to grow, knowing no bounds. Illuminate this! Turn this city from night to day. Morning, morning, I’m mourning. Morning, morning, I’m mourning. She seems to be lost.
not all that for the last sentence, but rest is pretty good.

c4c

finally, someone uses some good imagery! really! it's a painting of words. i appreciate it. i like your word choice very much.
crit my song, i'd like that as well. (;
taracing my bones (link in sig)
-an²a
#3
It's great, and there really isn't anything I wanted to say that radiocure hasn't.

So, as I can't correct anything, all that's left is I love it.