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#1
Lets revive this thread......I don't remember any of them.
Quote by Survivalism
The Dual Rectifier is my sexy finishing move.


Quote by Survivalism
Nobody knows the words to Evenflow, they all just go "bramamamamamamamamaamamamabooowwllofcornflakes"
#4
So this neutron walked into the YMC and asked how much they charged

And they fitness manager replied "there is no charge for you"


harharharharhahhohohohohoho


Me=badass
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#5
When I'm the ruler of the world, I'm gonna kill ALL the Jews, and a clown.

"...why the clown?"

SEE!?! No one cares about the Jews!!!

/lame
Quote by jackbauer
playing by yourself is like masturbating, sure it feels great, but it's nothing compared to the real deal.


Quote by guylee
Oh Shit! I Have A Weird Growth On My Body!

To The Pit!



JOIN MY GROUP plox

http://groups.ultimate-guitar.com/tonelife/
#6
whats the difference between a red ferrari and 1000 dead babies?
i dont have a red ferrari in my garage


what did the man put in microwave?
a baby

AW OH

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']Just give up, because Callo just destroyed you.
Quote by daytripper75
if i am not pooping, i stand to pee. if i am pooping, it makes more sense to just sit down in the first place.


CALLO

#8
Quote by USAPeavey
When I'm the ruler of the world, I'm gonna kill ALL the Jews, and a clown.

"...why the clown?"

SEE!?! No one cares about the Jews!!!

/lame


Technically that's a bit self contradicting.

Because the original speaker says he wants to kill the Jews which means he cares for them, but in a negative way.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
#9
Quote by Twist of fate
What's red and white and goes up and down in a baby's crib?
My ass.

you go straight past hell and you have to live with sarah jessica parker
Quote by nincompoop
potcorn56, you are a god.
#10
Quote by Maidenfan066
So this neutron walked into the YMC and asked how much they charged

And they fitness manager replied "there is no charge for you"


harharharharhahhohohohohoho


Me=badass


one atom says to the other atom: "i just lost an electron!"

the other atom says: "are you sure?"

the first atom says: "i'm positive!"

ba-dum-bum-kssh!

and i guess we need a nasty joke too...

Q: what's red, white and screams?

A: a peeled baby in a bag of salt.

/thread
#11
How do you make a dog meow?


Freeze it, then run it through a tablesaw.

MMMMMEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW
#12
Quote by Maidenfan066


Me=badass



Dude, your so going to hell for that. I feel so bad for you, maybe if you repent nao you can save your soul!
#13
Quote by Maidenfan066
So this neutron walked into the YMC and asked how much they charged

And they fitness manager replied "there is no charge for you"


harharharharhahhohohohohoho


Me=badass

Quote by MeltingWaxFace
Your first mistake was getting a Chinese lady to cut your hair.

Your second mistake was getting someone who doesn't speak English to cut your hair.

Your third mistake was listening to your dicklock parents.

#15
Quote by frigginjerk
one atom says to the other atom: "i just lost an electron!"

the other atom says: "are you sure?"

the first atom says: "i'm positive!"

ba-dum-bum-kssh!



I'll see you in hell man.
Nice beaver.


(. Y .) (. Y .)
#17
ok, this one secured my place in hell:

me and my friend were dabbling in satanism, and we were talking about rituals and stuff. anyway, heres how it happened.

eric: "yea, and you have to light candles made from the fat of uncircumsized babies"

me: "seriously? why uncircumsized?"

eric: "i dont know, maybe they dont want jewish babies"

me: "yea, you know how those people burn."


we both cracked up, but then felt so bad afterwards. we werent even satanists or antisemites, it was just one of those things. so now im officially going to hell. its kinda nice to not have to wonder.
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..
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I have no opinion on this matter.
#18
Continue with awesome fallout 3 jokes please
Or does your humor emitter relay require recharging?

And you obviously aren't going to hell because you didn't blow up megaton.
^Note: Probably sarcastic
Gear
Schecter Blackjack C1-FR
Few Agile 8-strings
Ormsby Hypemachine 2014 otw!!

Carvin X-100B
axe-fx II

W.A musicians FTW
Quote by crisisinheaven
Deep*Kick. You have destroyed every concept of life I've ever had.
Last edited by Deep*Kick at Dec 6, 2008,
#19
a mexican and a negro are in the back of a car... whos driving?

the police

I AM SO SORRY!
hello satan

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']Just give up, because Callo just destroyed you.
Quote by daytripper75
if i am not pooping, i stand to pee. if i am pooping, it makes more sense to just sit down in the first place.


CALLO

#20
Quote by Callo
a mexican and a negro are in the back of a car... whos driving?

the police

I AM SO SORRY!
hello satan





#23
What do you call sandpaper in Iraq?
A map

Why does the Saudi airforce save so much money?
You only have to teach them how to take off

What's the difference between a baby and a terrorist?
The terrorist wears the diaper on his head
#24
how many black people can you fit into a room with no lights?
you'll never know

How do you know if a chink robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway

Why do blacks put their garbage in clear bags?
So puerto ricans can window shop
Quote by nincompoop
potcorn56, you are a god.
#25
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
This thread is as much use as Anne Frank's drumkit.

You mean Helen Keller.
HAHAHAAHAHAHA
#26
What's the best part about getting head from an Ethiopian girl?
You KNOW she swallows
#27
what do you say if you get home at night and your tv is floating?


DROP IT NIGGA!

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']Just give up, because Callo just destroyed you.
Quote by daytripper75
if i am not pooping, i stand to pee. if i am pooping, it makes more sense to just sit down in the first place.


CALLO

#29
Quote by tona_107
You mean Helen Keller.
HAHAHAAHAHAHA

no dude, he doesnt.
keep thinking about it, itll come to you...
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..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#31
Quote by potcorn56
how many black people can you fit into a room with no lights?
you'll never know


Just ask them to smile.
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#32
What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

You take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.


Here's another:

How do you get a baby into a jam jar?

Blender.

How do you get it back out?

Doritos.

pretentious small text, right justified signature
UG's professional coffee nerd
also UG's musical theatre nerd
roscoe's wetsuit
#33
Quote by InvaderTSN
What did the blind, deaf, and dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

omg!! haha i almost fell off my chair
UG's condensed package of adrenaline

i am not liable for anything stated above
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#34
how do you fit 1000 jews into a voltswagon beetle


in an ash tray


i didnt wanna tell that one...cause im definately goin to hell for that
#35
Quote by geetar_man0
how do you fit 1000 jews into a voltswagon beetle


in an ash tray


i didnt wanna tell that one...cause im definately goin to hell for that



I'll see you there.
#37
Quote by samick007
How do you make a dog meow?


Freeze it, then run it through a tablesaw.

MMMMMEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW



How do you make a cat woof?


soak it in gasoline and set it on fire

WHOOF!!!!
#39
Quote by vinyl_countdown
How do you make a cat woof?


soak it in gasoline and set it on fire

WHOOF!!!!


how do you make a dog woof?

threaten it

[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']Just give up, because Callo just destroyed you.
Quote by daytripper75
if i am not pooping, i stand to pee. if i am pooping, it makes more sense to just sit down in the first place.


CALLO

#40
Quote by tona_107
You mean Helen Keller.
HAHAHAAHAHAHA

Anne Frank can work too.
Since she was hiding from the nazi's she couldn't use the drum set cause it would make too much noise
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