#1
I've read all the lessons, I've watched video after video on youtube, and I still can't slap bass. I feel like epic fail everytime I pick up my bass and try to slap. I just can't do it. Could anyone at all PLEASE wave a magic wand or shed some light on my predicament and maybe tell me, in the simplist of ways, how in the world do you slap bass?

If you help me I'll give you a cookie. Heck I'll give you a cookie for trying.
#2
It takes time, my friend. You'll get there eventually.
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#3
If you could describe the problem, the solution would be forthcoming. But if you don't know, then all we can say is practice.
I have:
Acoustic B200H+B115 cab, Schecter Stiletto Custom 4, Rondo Fretless, Boss EQ-7.

Some men just want to watch the world burn. And they work at Behringer.
#4
When you're slapping, your motion should be like turning a door handle, when you strike the string with your thumb make it bounce back up.
That's an accepted way of doing it.
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#5
Quote by FFTLxx
When you're slapping, your motion should be like turning a door handle, when you strike the string with your thumb make it bounce back up.
That's an accepted way of doing it.

Not only the accepted, but the recommended way to do it more efficiently.